❤ 常に微笑する微笑し続けなさい。

2009-07-13T19:12:00.000-07:00

Post #815.

My last post. Might be back, maybe? Im not sure 8DD

Just here to inform joo gaiz that I wont be blogging here neimore, Might do so. See hows.

But I wont close this blog. Shall just leave it be.

My another blog will only be disclosed to my dearest people =3

And so

CIAOSUUUUUU! *reborn style*

2009-07-12T22:24:00.000-07:00

Yeah, so cosfest is over. ITZ OVAR!! ;________; -cries- Yes it's as awesome as ever, and gets more awesome every year.

Im still high now due to cosfest. But very tired due to cosfest too. So pardon if I didnt contribute as much today my teammates *get bricked*

So day 1, took bus to pasir ris, and I met usagi on the bus xD TCSS-ed till we reached and then walked to chalet. Nua-ed there till around 1 plus? Then walk around. Nothing much lerhs. Mingled around with my awesome peepz and watch the performance.

The idolmaster performance was awesome! I R serious! It's like, I feel like going up too =x And iz happeh that I can dance what they are dancing too. And then aya's performace, which was awesome too~ Then nua around, camwhore with dearest people. That roughly make up the rest of the day xD Then went to nom nom with other half rein and davis at whitesands~ And then we took puri puri! 8DDv

Day 2, rushed home after church. Bathed and then prepare my stuff. Iz lazeh to do full decora so I did a half ass one. If I knew qiqi they all doing decora I should have done D= Thne reach chalet. Nua again, helped out kyon and broken with some of their stuff, then went off to event.

Camwhored again xD Basically that makes up the whole 2 days =x Watched abit of performance, run here and there,Then went private shoot with strife and royston. Objection! XD damn hilarious lurhs~

After that went to help yubin with his stuff. Tsk tsk. And I unknowningly became his saikang xD Went to find wayne. That crazy guy into character kisiao anyhow run around. Me and yubin can find him after turning around =A=

And wayne kena morested by some xmm! DD= How dare that xmm *slap* poor wayne *pat pat* And he still didnt know. And that became the joke of the day =x

And I became their saikang for the day. Feels awesome with 2 da shuai ge walkign beside me 8DD rabu rabu em heees. And yeah, nothing much lurhs. Cause I didnt cos so need not do props and stuff ma xD

Then went around with qiqi cookie and jas for awhile, then went back saikang again. Then around 7 plus went off with qiqi cookie and jas for dinner~ 8D Went to take puripuka first! With alvin too, and I toi sabo-ed by cookie -w- thanks uh. Then saw yumi everywhere we go xD

Then cabed to whitesands for dinnar! 8D thirsty like shiat D= Then went to collect me and twinneh's stuff =3 and then gossiped there till around 9. Then cabbed home. Thank guys! Had a fun time with you all 8D/ Im just lazeh to go into details ><

And I've decided to continue using this blog. Too many stuff, shall just stay put here. The other one will be used as my the other blog. This shall remain a happy blog. I shall only blog about happy stuff here =3

So yarhs, only ppl dearest to me will have access to the other blog. And im going to blog there now =x

Entepris UT later. Good luck to meh ;A; And math tml, I think i ponning schoool to study for it -w-

blargh blargh blargh.

2009-07-12T18:28:00.001-07:00

my 2 帅哥 for day 2 *hearts* walking with them ytd everyone staring at us =3
wayne yumi yubin
brokennnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn *morest amour*
lockieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee~
setsuruuuuuuuu~
keiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii~
melllllllllllllllllllllllll~
haruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu~
~~harry potter~~setsuruuuuu~
rinyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa~
twinnehhhhhhhhhhhh~
yuki darrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr~
sandwichhhhhhhhhhhhhhh~
miinnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn~
haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaal~
ayaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa~
zelmer~~~~ this cute guy still rmb-ed what we chatted about liek a year ago! And gave me my green tea =A= but still rabus!
kazeeeeeeeee~ gossiping with him bout sec sch peepz with kor iz fun 8Dv
akaritsuuuuuuuuu~
sai~~ HAR HAR his spiky thingy so cant stand close to meh. paper =x
petzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz~
other halfffffffffffffffff~~~
jonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn~ *whack*
huneyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy~
sushi darrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr~
chiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii~~
ET~~~
kiaming~~ Shall go cut our hair soon ah! 8D
kareiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii~
midnite! Gosh this girl will never change in 10 year. Soulstones FTW =D
huijunnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn~
stannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn~ *pulls tail*
rei~ wooots 8D miss mah daughter~
mishiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii~
saku jieeeeeeeeeeeeee~~
queeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeen~
twinneh~~ her flander like finally xD
meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeel~ *step on fierce* xD
roooooooooooooooooy~ tall ;__;
liqingggggggggggggggggggggggggggg~
piscesssssssss~~
jamiieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee~
crimsonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn~
chirstttttttttttttttttttt~
lindraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa~
haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaal~
deooooooooooooooooooooooooooo~ *pull hair* xD
akaaaaaaaaaaaaa~
kazeeeeeeeeeeeee~*wants the rings DD=* awesomeeeeee~
mayaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa~ HAHA SHORT =X
roystonnnnnnn~ OBJECTIONS! XD
my hibari *rabus*
my dino * hearts*
rayrayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy~
kzfffffffffffffffffff~
other halffffff~~~~~ ratatattatattatatattataaaa~
ET~ REBORN; CIAOSUUUUUUUUU 8D
chiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii~ *poke hibird* xD
my dino, jacket version 8D
chibinooooooooooooooooooooo~
qiqi dearrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr~
jasumi~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
cooookieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee~
miyamiyamiyamiyamiyamiyamiya~ *burger king!*
ayaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa~
yumiiiiiiiiiiiiiii~ xD

yuchi iz a happeh tart today. Because she still havent get over cosfest fever! 8DDv So I shall post pictures first, cause there's really alot, and then blog after Im done with the pictures~ :3

so yeah, here's the pictures. Shall blog the details in the next post. Arbo later too many pictures very lagg~

2009-07-09T22:38:00.001-07:00

I FUCKING HATE RP. like i haz ut on mon and tues. HOW TO STUDY!??! ;A; Cosfest sia! Of course I cant abandon cosfest lurhs! So later after my science UT i going home to chiong study for ut again.

FUCK YOU RP. SERIOUSLY.

Rush home after UT to study for UT. smart. Nice one lurhs. And it's like what the hell? I want my rest before cosfest lurhs. THANK GOD im not cosing and I dont have to chiong my props. If not I'll die. Just pray that I can finish chionging all those stuff by tonight. Yes tonight. ARGH.

Most importantly I cannot go and meet other rein and kox later. I was supposed to go get some stuff with em and nua but now i cant! I CANT! ARGH. Why cant let me enjoy myself before cosfest!?!?! *curse and swear* Immah sorreh other half *sulks*

2009-07-09T17:45:00.000-07:00

A story to share.

10th grade

As I sat there in English class, I stared at the girl next to me. She was my so called "best friend". I stared at her long, silky hair, and wished she was mine. But she didn't notice me like that, and I knew it. After class, she walked up to me and asked me for the notes she had missed the day before and handed them to her. She said "thanks" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I wanted to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

11th grade
The phone rang. On the other end, it was her. She was in tears, mumbling on and on about how her love had broke her heart. She asked me to come over because she didn't want to be alone, so I did. As I sat next to her on the sofa, I stared at her soft eyes, wishing she was mine. After 2 hours, one Drew Barrymore movie, and three bags of chips, she decided to go to sleep. She looked at me, said "thanks" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

Senior year
The day before prom she walked to my locker. My date is sick" she said; he's not going to go well, I didn't have a date, and in 7th grade, we made a promise that if neither of us had dates, we would go together just as "best friends". So we did. Prom night, after everything was over, I was standing at her front door step. I stared at her as she smiled at me and stared at me with her crystal eyes. I want her to be mine, but she isn't think of me like that, and I know it. Then she said "I had the best time, thanks!" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

Graduation Day
A day passed, then a week, then a month. Before I could blink, it was graduation day. I watched as her perfect body floated like an angel up on stage to get her diploma. I wanted her to be mine, but she didn't notice me like that, and I knew it. Before everyone went home, she came to me in her smock and hat, and cried as I hugged her. Then she lifted her head from my shoulder and said, "you're my best friend, thanks" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

A Few Years Later
Now I sit in the pews of the church. That girl is getting married now. I watched her say "I do" and drive off to her new life, married to another man. I wanted her to be mine, but she didn't see me like that, and I knew it. But before she drove away, she came to me and said "you came!". She said "thanks" and kissed me on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

Funeral
Years passed, I looked down at the coffin of a girl who used to be my "best friend". At the service, they read a diary entry she had wrote in her high school years. This is what it read: I stare at him wishing he was mine, but he doesn't notice me like that, and I know it. I want to tell him, I want him to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love him but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why. I wish he would tell me he loved me! `I wish I did too...` I thought to my self, and I cried.

2009-07-08T19:23:00.001-07:00

Fictionjunction. Damn awesome band. Go check out the songs. Downloading songs now. Science module today. Blardy lame faci. Whatever, not in a good mood today. And haz no idea wai.

Just suddenly moodswing. Dont feel like talking .__. And been spamming songs on my itunes.

And good. That bitch stepped into class. Might as well dont come. Im not going to be so nice like yu'ai to 'tribute' on blog post to her. Nah.

Oh, karei's out from hospital. H1N1 negative.

2009-07-08T05:04:00.000-07:00

I really feel like changing to ameba. BUT BUT BUT. Like its damn laggy and I haz no idea wai DD=
*emos*

Everyone's like chionging cosfest stuff. LOLOL. Like, chionging season xD I dont have to chiong, cause I have nothing to chiong .___. *go one corner draw circles*

Mehhh. Like like, sho moody naoz. Cause cause cause. Im jealous. Yes Im jealous. Im just jealous okkay? ]= Kay fine I go ask baby to cheer me up. roooooooooooooooar

And oh. UT was fine just now. Just hope that I do well ;A; Science UT on friday. Benkyoo benkyoo!

Wen wen was sho moody just naoz D= Poor thing *pat pat pat* Cheer up uhh~ I understand how you feel. Tomorrow I spam u taiga de picture okay? 8D *lai lai lai*

Im looking forward to going to school now. Though Im still lazeh to wake up -w- I must cherish this 5 more weeks with my awesome classmates ]= Must must must. Class tee! WOOTS.

如何して　如何して　如何して？！？！？
お前輪嫌い。嫌い。全全嫌い！！
馬鹿馬鹿馬鹿。
死に。

2009-07-07T20:01:00.000-07:00

Feeling very nostalgic all of a sudden. Haz no idea wai ._. Was listening to yuki, muon, madobe nite and I suddenly remember it haz been a very long time since we dance properly. As in, really dance. Not for practiscing for performance or anything. Just dance for the sake of dancing.

I remembered last time, we'll just spam dances, even though we dont have as much dances to dance as compared to now. But then we were happy, we spammed dances and we did no complaint. And now? Mentioning dances like HHY or CD and we'll be like nah, overused, next.

Where did our enthusiasm went to? Like, dude we haz not been dancing for 2 months and performance iz coming. And its big event. I dont even think we're going to make it. Like my costume. LULZ.

I dont knwo what Im doing now. Like. Enteprise iz boring prease, like seriously. And I think I downloaded too much stuff that now Im too lazeh to go and download other stuff -w-

Seth iz here and went E5 to find other half then nua there. And boohoos, the lift look so scary D=

Yu'ai latest blog post iz damn hilarious. LOL. So mean! xD Mehh, our class iz gunna be seperated in like few moar weeks? ]: Nyuuu, does not want. Mah class be awesome yoz. They always cheer me up when Im down D=

Oh well 人生没有不散的宴席。It's hard to keep a group together for a long time. Like cafers, I remembered last time, we use to hang out at atsuki, and then after atsuki it's esplanade, after that it's sawa's place, then karei's place. We've been to alot of places before, and I hope we're still as close as ever. Although alot haz happened.

I feel like drawing out our family tree. I think one majong paper also not enough lorhs xDD

blargh. Studied for UT yesterday already. Iz good today, means no bad flu or anything. But I R hungreh naoz ;A; FOOOOOOOOOOD. Nyuu, needs to lose weight D= For my cos-plans sake.

*starve mahself*
;_;

COSFEST IN 3 DAY!
AWESOME-NESS! PEEPZ! 8D *lurb lurb*

http://www.nicovideo.jp/watch/sm2308970
immah addicted to this. Has no idea wai ._.

2009-07-06T20:17:00.001-07:00

Haz been living half otaku life. Downloading my animes, songs, finding awesome fanarts and wallpapers. And also escaping from some stuff. Alot of stuff I think, things that I badly want to talk to someone about. But in the end, they'll pissed me more even more. Forget it then. Hur. I'll just pen in down, and save it somewhere in mah comp.

Wont publish it here, nor my livejournal/ameblo/jugem. Speaking of which. I think I haz created alot of accounts for blogging ._. And Im intending to shift it to either one above but oh well shall see first. Im getting bored of blogger >_>

Hmmmmms, lets see.

hurhurhur. Blargh. Like argh. Nevermind. Dont think I'll blog soon. Shall see hows. Waiting for me to get to a better situation to forget everything that's bothering me first. hur

I suspect I got H1N1. Like I've been having flu since morning. Then slight sore throat and abit out of breath. >__> And I just told pa and he's talking as if I really kenna =A=

Neiway, and so I went for TGX. Same old stuff. Iz lazeh to type out. Events are getting moar and moar boring. Oh yeah thanks pa for the heart lock =3

And I haz to get down to make my costumes soonish. Like I think i havent get alot of stuff. Cosfest's already ruined. LULZ.

Numbing myself with temporary pleasure I get from deceiving myself that Im happy.

2009-07-04T07:57:00.000-07:00

就这样，我慢慢变了样，已经不在是以前的我了。
因为这世界，容纳不下这样的我。
所以就算我要做我自己，可不是可能的事。

我累了，真的很累了。
我只想好好的睡一觉。
不想睡醒。
再见。

2009-07-02T04:40:00.000-07:00

I thank god for killer srsly.
Love him to bits and pieces.
♥ like srsly, really.

And no one would understand this post, perhaps cept for killer, so im warning you to not read it and give me nonsense later. Cause Im not going to type it in a way that i'll make sense. And dont try to guess it, you'll never know. And dont ask. I wont say, and I cant say, what makes u think that im typing in such a way no one understands?

Dude. Im not god okay, and I dont know magic. So dont give me stuff and expect me to do it within like 3 mins. Even god cant do it. And THERE'S NO GOD.
And srsly, stop contridicting yourself. You're always saying one thing, and doing another thing.
If i rebut back, it doesnt mean im rude. Im just annoyed, because I am human, not robots, nor god.
To hell to you, you are the who are asking for help and you are giving me this kind of attitude?
I cant even stand you in the first place. Consider it a honour that I helped you.
So thanks uh. I dont think I'll be talking to you soon. I dont want to find myself trouble when im just being kind and help.
And Im know im such a eyesore to you. I'll leave you alone now, happy? Kthxbye.
And can you please stop talking nonstop? Like fuck you I know what I want and Im fucking 17 I have hands and legs and I'll get what I want, do what I want, whenever I like it. I dont need you to fucking get whatever for me. So stop asking. I can do my own stuff, I never did asked you for help so STFU AND GTFO.
Yesh I have a problem with you Im just racist and I-DONT-LIKE-YOUR-FACE. read. Too bad for you then.
And Im not your fucking whatever it is. Come to me only you have problem or when you need something from me. And then dissapear off when nothing iz one, or happily enjoying yourself?
So what if im selective, too bad then. You problem, not mine. I just dont like you.
Stop spamming me on msn. I have a life u know. And when I only reply one world answer, isnt it pretty plain obvious that I dont have time to entertain you. So GTFO.
Or maybe I just dont feel like talking to you cause I just dont feel like it.
Piece of shit, stop saying things that doesnt make sense. You're just a attention whore man. Srsly. I dont give a damn.
And stop making pointless argument with irrelevant evidence as backup. You do realise both things doesnt match? Use your brain before you speak. nubfag.
For goodness sake, READ. READ R-E-A-D. You cant? Go back to kindegarten then. Might both you and I good.
Before you say you dont know anything, go through and see. When I already say its there, it's there. Doubt me, dont find/ask me then.
The internet haz WWW for a reason. Dont go around saying. Eeek! Dont want let ppl see la. Private things. THEN DONT FUCKING PUT IT ON THE FOR GOD'S SAKE. WWW. Need me say more?
The world doesnt belongs to you only. Dont fucking act as if everyone's your people and you're the king. Stop living in your own world.

AND I BLARDY HELL SWEAR I CAN READ KILLER'S MIND! I R SRS YO! WOOOOTS *smirks*

2009-06-29T18:39:00.001-07:00

*yawns* I feel like sleeping >__> But iz having discussion with class and faci now -w- Oh yeah, I've got another A for my math! 8Dv YAY! I love you kelvin! No, not pa nor broken, my faci. LULZ. Yeah, what's up with all teh kelvins right? I have no idea, I know uncountable kelvin(s) in my 16 years.

Doing worksheet now. Iz hungreh. And meh, I cant differentiate chest pain and hunger anymore =A= Like yeah, those who knows knows that I'll get chest pain when Im hungry. HURHUR, weird people haz weird body functions.

My itune songs are putting me to sleep -w- oh well, neimind. I love my songs anyway. I R music library yo 8D Any genre, any language. Hees. But of course mine cant be compared to soulmate's. Though my MP3 is not going to be able tocontain all my songs anymoar D=

Iz happeh at the fact that Im a music guru. hurhur~ Trance playing now ._. And then miku, and then the man who cant be move -w- That's the problem of shuffle. You get all jumbled up xD But oh well, since im lazy, I shall just leave it be =/ And I seriously need to tidy up my library soon. Like I want all my songs but it's so disorganised and my itunes prolly dont have ALL in the libray D=

And so yesterday afetr Im done with my stuff rushed out to meet soulmate and dar. Mehh, I seriously think I should sleep yesterday instead of doing my worksheet. I gonna get C anyway >_> Whatever. So met up with em, took akaritsu's lyric book to read. And then I realise my hiragana deproved, because I've been practising kanji too much \(=A=\) Oh gawd help meh T_T

And I need more JE songs like seriously. Like awesome preaseeee? Iz happeh at the fact that I know quite a number of songs in that lyrics book. But still I haz to update myself 8D And then we went far east, couldnt find specs *pouts* WANTS MAH SPECS! \(;A;\) Then went to walk around, see see, nom nom. And went kino! Wooots~ Havent went there for ages and I brought kantan-kun! 8DDDDv Yush I went gaga over it xD So cute please. Shall dig out pics for you guys to see sometime. kantan kantan. hurhurhur, Im a sucker for cute stuffs =3

Then soulmate and I went browsing at manga, look at tittles and tcss. Meh, I ough to get his list, like haz alot of awesome stuff please? Seems like my list is never ending. @_@ So yeahs, slacked there for quite a while and went back home .___. miku fangirlism hit karei. LULZ. I shouldnt have found those book and told her I did. Why my eyes so sharp? XDD

Beh sian sia, I wanna go back to school asap cause I miss my awesome classmates but then again ironic thing is I dont wanna wake up that early D= Oh well, 2 more days only. Shall enjoy myself 8D Chiong my animes~ Wheeess~

Im so happy that im a otaku. Though Im only a mild one but still, I love my culture and my interest. They are just plain awesome to the max max max. That no words can describe. Haz no idea why but I just to show my appreciation for my culture. Like awesome preaseeeeeee, I dont care what other think about it, that is their problem. I just know im happy there and I haz awesome friends that cant be found else where nor anywhere else *hearts*

So I reckon u can sense teh otaku-ism in me coming out already. Hees 8D time to update my list! WOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOO!!

And anyway, broken haz been weird recently. He talks to me on msn ._. As in he initiate the convo, which he haz nevar done before. And he haznt been calling me to shuddap and such .__. Feels weird. Oh wells.

And I've sort out thigns on my own 8DD Not really gonna spell it all out here. But just, yeah. har har.

-Zao to complie list, find pictures, download download =x-

ciaosuuuuuuuu~ *reborn style* 8D

2009-06-28T02:59:00.000-07:00

HAY GAIZ! Immah here cause e learning is crap and Im falling asleep D= So i might as well blog and then go to sleep. HAR HAR~ So picturess!! 8DD

Onigiri made by papa before he flew off~~ XD
So yeah, went for dance on wednesday, did karei's nails, went for dinner, then acrade! Saw jiejie, kaze and shin! Woots, shall gossip with kaze soonish *high 5* And jie haz that ever pinchy face HAHAH and shin playing games as usual -w- So yeah, played jubeat! *iz a happeh tart* then see shin play and feels that immah a noob ;A;

That's shin's phone by the way. Damn awesome right? Look at the menu and wallpaper! Rachel! WOOOTS~ And shin used white version of jin. HOMG *melts*

Then thurs go do karei's nails again, fri went to help her with her costume and sat went mascot parade. -iz lazeh to type what happen at mascot parade, boring =/-

Kelvin's girl!

Hiro's girl 8D *morest*
HAR HAR HAR HAR ♥ =x
light stick light sticks! *high*
i'll give whoever that can guess whose behind us a cookie 8D
Mascot parade damn sian >_> We nua there till around 7 plus then meh and killer bused to bugis to find lockie and broken! 8DD LOCKIE LOCKIE LOCKIE! *chants* He's still as cute as evar xD Then taiko, then went to nom nom, and we tcss-ed there. Damn hilarious stuff. Liek lockie's twin brother, blong, moobs, blarh blarh blarh. This is what I call real tcss session that we havent got for ages D=

Soulmate was hogging on to my spec almost for 3/4 of the day. LOL And im supposed to meet him laters to go shopping! 8DD I love mah soulmate, who never fail to make meh happy and we haz telepathy 8D8D8D8D8D8Dv

Blarh, waiting for his call >_>
*go koons*

2009-06-26T01:59:00.000-07:00

And so as you guys know RP year ones are given a week of 'holiday' due to H1N1. Oh well .__. No comments on this, though I still find it rather stupid of them to not close down the school. Like other half said, it's not about holidays anymore. Students and staff's health are at stake. I really have no idea what they are thinking >_> whatever.

And so e-learning since yesterday. Meh, it's either me, or I think doing worksheet is way better than presentations. LULZ, haz no idea. Dont know lurhs~ But so far so good, both science and math I was able to do. And meh, science ws was like so easy, insulting my intellegene norh~ xD

Im kinda lazy to update, because apparently Im using the desktop. It's been ages since I've use desktop and I have alot of typos =A= HAHAHAH. And immah a happy tart naoz, cause I've went kop-ing stuff from the net, yesh again. And this time was reisen and blazblu. And downloading jpop and cpop songs too. Feelings nostalgic recently, and I have no idea why .____.

And I TELL YOU! JIN IZ AWESOME WOKAYZ?! Like especially the white colour version one. Shin used it the other day, and I was liek WTFBBQDESUNE!! Fangirls all the way. I swear, It's awesome, trust me. Jin's mine now~ Taokaka loves jin, no love for noel! HAHAHHA! (shiat I gona get whacked by noel for this =x )

I guess this'll be a short update, until I upload the pictures 8D

Quite a number of stuff happened, and my mind struggled alot to come to that decision. And apparently Im very happy with it. I'm waiting *chu* And sankyuuu karei dar! RABUS HER LOADS. She knows me well, cause I need to deal with what I have instead of running away from it. And she'll give me cold hard facts instead of pacifying me. LULZ.

And I still cant post anything about it here, because my blog's not private obviously and Im lazy to set it xD So if you want to know pm me about it [: So yeah, Im contented now, but still pissed over somestuff, which is within my control and I can only learn to close one eye about it. Blarh.

Papa's flying back tomorrow! Woooooots~ hurhurhur. And I still havent decide to go for mascot parade or not. Soulmate's not awake, eh no wait, I bet he went out *sulks*

Blarh. Shall see how. Call him later, haz to go to dar place to pass her some stuff too~ So meanwhile, I shall go read my book. No wait dandan's book. HAHAHA.

And before I go, I love my class 8D E36L FTW MAN.

HOMG, this is creepy, I suddenly wanted to listen to the song get back, so I went to tune up my itune( I tuned it down just now, watching show) And then press next button, and the song was there .__. By the way my itunes is always on shuffle so I wont know what song it'll play. Meh, this is call detiny cannot be denied! Eric LOL.

I wanna get back to the old days, when the phone would ring and I know it was you.
I wanna talk back, and get yelled at. Fight for nothing, like we used to.
Ever since you lefted, I've been in a mess.
Baby you're the only thing that is on my mind.
Dont walk away like you used to this time.
Everytime see you it gets more and more intense.
I'll say it once
Im not going to lie
Dont look at me that way, I can see it in your eyes.
I wanna get back, with you.
And cause I know that you do

-spam song-

LOL

2009-06-22T03:44:00.001-07:00

I was a happy kid yesterday because I dl-ed my baby's album and digimon adventures 1-3. Oh yeah. And communication lesson was good. Changed faci, she is nice. Not saying previous one not nice, just new way, nice change once in a while [: And then went home, watch KHR. Nothing much.

Enteprise today. That bitch gave me a D for last lesson. How nice >_> I shall download again HAHHAA.

And im having slight flu. zzzzzzz Why it is always enteprise that I have flu -w- I think its fated xD Will fail this module >_> And I hope she'll end early today is not I'll just step out of class.

Nothing much happen generally, just, I dont really know how to explain and Im lazy to tyoe out now.

E36L is awesome, I think we're getting to know each other more and more now 8D was dancing with wen wen in class yesterday. Luckily I know how to interpret dance moves from videos well, if not wen wen will learn the wrong thing all these while xD

Awesome class be awesomeeeeeeeee~ I think I'll miss these people next semester when we change class ]: Does not want yoooo *pouts*

I think Im going to miss mascot parade. Lazy to go lei, and prolly cause of _________. Oh well. Blarh whatever.

GSS gonna end soon!! D= I wanna go shopping!! Who wants to go shopping with me? ;A; *emos* Wnats shopping shopping! Kaimono! My kaimono partner in aussy *sulks*

And I think Im totallly screwed for cosfest like seriously. Vary vary screwed. Die die dies, and I didnt realise cosfest is drawing near norhs D= *stabself* So performance soonish and dance iz like _____ (fill in the blank yourself) I dont know how to describe it ._.

Finish rin's ribbon yesterday! Looks weird cause the sides are not trimmed. Boohoo, waiting for dar to trim it for me 8D YAY.

And by the way, this is my 800th post. Fast siol OwO

Note to self:
___________ ♥
Im listening to baby's song, and ex-baby's song. Evan. That was so long ago, but I still love him =3 My fangirling is getting worse. Gosh. Baby, eva, miyavi, ken, xiao gui, gino, bou, miku, reita, ryuuji, natsume, keita, reborn lambo, mikage, teito, and alot more i lost count -w-

Har. Sonnie's quiz so easy. I got 100% norh >_> AND PUNI PUNI! Aint he so adorable? 8D
Kays I think Im going to sleep soonish. Today's wednesday. Hmmms ______ .

2009-06-21T17:44:00.000-07:00

I've got D for my UT grade. What a nice way to start my morning and the week. Thanks. Everything's just not going right for me, or perhaps it's just me and me only.

A lot of things that I cannot pen it down here, because of I dont really want people to worry about me but at the same time I want someone to be there for me to share my burden, but I know the person wont be there. Ironic desho?

My grades are getting worser and worser by the day. Yes I dont have any D's but still my grades are just like B's and C's, rarely any A's. I dont even think I can pass my modules or even year 1 at this rate. Shawn was right, perhaps I shouldnt even go Rp in the first place. But if I didnt, where can I go?

I've learnt to be contented. I am contented with what I have, but sadly the fact is that the society doesnt just allow you to be contented. They just keep on pushing you high up and further higher than what you can do.

I want to change my msn nick, but everytime when I go to the window, I just couldnt bear to change it, because it is so true. I know I ought to get out of this state. I thought I gotten out of thus stage way long ago, and I thought I got over this phrase long ago, over him, over these. Then now, I just realised I did not, if I did, not fully then.

There is a reason for everything. At least that is what I believe. And the reason for all these is because Im just plain stupid, ugleh and fat. Dont have to pacify me anymore because I know myself. And I know Im sure going to get criticized by people because I NATO. Whatever.

And that stupid women at home who doesnt use her brain. Yes Im just bais towards her. Say whatever you want, I dont care. I can live my life perfectly fine without her. My life was perfectly fine before she came. Just a little untidy at home, so? Why be so tidy when you know you are going to mess it up all over again?

So why bother? So stop fucking bothering and irritating me with everything. Stop asking me and stop saying thing. I old enough to know what I am doing. Yes I fucking hate people to intrude in my life like this. So stop messing up my life you bitch. You are not my mum and I'll never acknowledge you. Note, Never. So kindly fuck off. This is the first warning, there wont be a second, I'll just snap off.

And ____ and _____ I wont pen it down, I wont say it. So I'll just bottle it up. I use to have somewhere to pour out everything, but its not there anymore. And it wont be back.

Because it's me.

2009-06-20T03:03:00.000-07:00

At invinc's place now. Just finish watching onee chanbara. Killer warned me before I watched, I should have heed his advice ;A; It was like huge turnoff man. Gah dammit, but the plotline was nice though.

Slept at 2 plus 3 last night after watching absolute bf on tv. AWESOME. Handsome guy is handsum. And then I went to watch hitman epi 3 and 4 and then went to sleep. And woke up at around 11 plus, and went to sleep again till 12 plus and realise Im going to be late -w- Then eat, and then set off took bus to serangoon to meet the rest.

And here I am now, nua-ing, waiting for my pandora hearts 12 to be loaded. So might as well use the time to blog. LULZ.

And my thoughts are in a whirl right now. Like alot of stuff going in my mind now and Im angry at people. And I shall say way here cause Im just angry cause im angry and Im jealous okay okay. Fine fine fine fine. Im just, argh nevermind. If i type out why karei gonna scream at me >__> For sureeeee~~

Neiway Im hungry. Okay finish loading so Im off. I think pandora heart will absorb my hatred in abyss. I hope. And, ugh whatever I dont care anymore byebye.

I bet I'll regret my decision.

2009-06-19T00:36:00.000-07:00

Potato chips xD Looks liek heart shape desho? 8D

Haz no idea why I cant go blogger when I leech wireless at night. Oh well, this is on draft so yearh xD Because i want to pen this down in case I forgot, STM is getting worse recently DD=

Im like, reminiscing cause I just saw the video on facebook. What video? The one with richson cohen and htoo when we had our farewell party for ms chua 4 years ago, yesh 4 years ago, sec 2. We blardy hell cried like mad ._. And yes, I DO miss class 2/4. Even thought shitstorms happen all the time but come on, shitstorms happens everywhere man.

Like in cafe now, complaint thread ‘spore idol’ is getting more and more interesting *cough* cafers should know 8D Those are my entertainment man. LULZ I seriously have no life but I do have to admit that those are stuff that kept cafers from being close and united all these times, and endless topics that we tcss about or rather gossips on recent threads or cafer’s stuff.

Oh well. Just finished my rj. I just randomly typed and immah hungreh naoz ]: cause i only ate one ramly burger D= Was supposed to go over to bugis to find dar and kosmox for some stuff but sun was scorching hot and boy and the next class people took sometime thus I decided not to go so boy and meh nua-ed in class and tcss, more like, nevermind I cant say else I’ll get slaughtered =x

Then went to next class and talked about some stuff. Meh, does not want to think about those stuff so i wont mentioned. Neiway, Im still logged in to boy’s fb account naoz. Shall spam. 8D Kay kidding =xMummy is nice okay. I go lurk only. Whoops =x

Gahh, liek Im memorising kanji dictionary now. My brain DD= Gosh haz to memorise my katakana already, my hiragana have to brush up too ]: And what the hell larhhhhhhhhhhh. I saw oreo today while waiting for bus. Waihong went to shout my name and boy shouted my REAL NAME. GAWD. Die die die. Like he doesn’t know yuchi but knows my real name prease.

Oh wait i doubt he even remembers, since he cant rmb me when me and pa went mac and i saw him. THANK GOD 8DD Oh well who cares, i haz mah ________ (insert whoever you all think it is) naoz and i cant be bothered with the rest of the guys 8D handsum and bishie guys are just my eyecandies xDD

My battery died before I could finish this post so yeah. Anything after the line was written today .__. And so yesterday group work was pretty fine cause immah with pohpoh shuhui yu’ai and john 8D Sankyuu john for the breakfast yesterday~ He was early today so no breakfast DD= And today still grouped with them 8D Cept for some extras >_> And im the leader today –w- Stressed. I kinda like more active doing work today instead of drifting off else where on the net, which is good 8D I r good student yooooo~~ Hees.

And presentation was good today, I guess. Our way is correct lorh, just that he always ask question not linked to our part thats why not relevant =A= And class split into 3 main team 8D fun fun fun. And i feedbacked to our mentor =x Whooops I feel so bitchy LULZ.

And I just finished presentation. Like boring. Went papa’s youtube channel and saw the chocobo video. Hilarious can xD Im liek chionging my animes now. Wants to clear my list asap. Like it’s been dragging forever lorh D=

Oh oh, papa flying off tomorrow ]: No one to entertain me liao. Buh bye, take care wokays? :3

Oh yesh that's me. Adorable desho? 8DDD heehees. I had bangs >_> Gosh. Lulz. Okkay im bored now. Class just ended and I haz nothing to do while waiting for boy. Shall eitehr do rj or watch show 8D BUH BYEEE~~

Back lolol. At agora hall now waiting for wushu peepz. and the pic abv. meh poh poh and boy's name together xDD

Neiway Im watching kurokami 18 and reborn epi 3 naoz. Woots 8DD And oh suzumiyah series 2 epi 2! WOOTS! BAI BAI~~~~

2009-06-17T17:32:00.001-07:00

Camwhore Camwhore~~ lulz Science today. Faci damn cute lurhs xD Only 2 people in my group today =w= Faci spit the group pleaseee ;A; WTF WTF *curse and swear*

Ughhhh!!! Rooooooooar! OH yeah that's the ring qiqi gave me by the way. Nice right? Cause its from qiqi! 8DDD

Oh yay she spilt the team liao, i jump boat to er jie and san jie team, with yu'ai and john also 8D woooots. sure hilarious today de. Disturbing john. LOLOL.

And so yesterday dar came with kosmox and nya -w- then nua outside class. She wanted to see boy's face for i dont know what reasons. Instead of going to his class/he coming to mine we webcammed lol. AGAIN -w-

And then nua untill i only have 10 min plus. LULZ. Then went back to class and they went off, and i didnt really do the ppt DD= Sorry wen wen *kowtow*

And then after that went home, nothing much. Watch kurokami epi 15 and khr epi 1. I hesitated to watch khr for a very long time because I knew I would get addicted D= And im scared to get addicted like natsume yuujinchou ( but its awesome so i dont mind and sides it's only 13 plus epi ]: I want moar natsume!! )

And i think i got addicted to khr liao, its damn funny. REBORN! XDDD And yesh, I knows how to manage my shows nao. I shall watch 2 epi one day 8DD

And so...

07 ghost 12
Pandora hearts 12
Asura cryin' 12
kurokami 16

And im super duper sad now! Like i forgot to pass the letter to karei for her to pass to papa. Like damn sad, seriously ]: emo liao la ))))))))))))))))))))=

and boy's pm is making me more worse ;A;
*draw circle*

OH HAY I haz free breakfast 8D John treat us cause he's late. WOOOTS. Teh peng and sandwich ftw 8DD And i understand today's problem =3

No presentation today! AWESUMMMMMM =3 science is lovedddd~~ 8D Lunch with boy pohpoh and shuhui LOL.

2009-06-16T17:56:00.000-07:00

mmmyeah I wore my WTF and STFU shirt to school respectively on mon and tues. And i wore EMO shirt today. HURHURHUR.

And as some of you know, tuesday werent exactly my day. And stuff I wont mention here, because I dont realyl know how to put it across. So yeahh. Sankyuu boy for chocolate waffles 8D Endophine ftw, but I guess I'll get immune to it and it wont work soon ]:

Oh wells. And then he went to change my pm *points to picture above* LOL. Obviously it aint the way I type. And I forgot to change my pm so people came asking me what happened -w-

And last night I wasnt excatly in a good mood either =A= *points to previous post* And things just are just getting worse for me. Today's enteprise, if you guys know I hate the faci like mad. So it's my download session. But apparently I dont have any songs to download. LULZ.

Then nic just told me he not comign tomorrow. Tomorrow team with bff, Im so gonna die there without nic zzzzzzzzz.

"You may be a little impulsive and driven today. Your subconscious mind is driving you to push for changes and adjustments in relationships. "
Horoscope for scorpio today.

Hmmmms... Maybe I shall be good today and listen to class. Well that's after I finish my pandora hearts. Watched halfway now.

kosmox and karei better come today is not i'll slaugther em. i brought teh stuffs. zzzzzzz

2009-06-16T06:48:00.000-07:00

Thanks uh, of all days you have to get on my nerves now.Liek I have UT tomorrow and I have yet to study for it. I planned my time nicely that by the time i finish my animes I should be able to start revising, at least abit.

But I only watch 3 epi cause the 3rd one fucked up. So I went to take picture for boy for the blardy internet connection thingy.And i realise I cant connect to the bluetooth.AND WHY?

Because my fucking retarded sister went to meddled with it before.FUCK YOU LA SERIOUSLY.I FUCKING HATE PEOPLE TO MEDDLE WITH MY MY STUFF WITHOUT PERMISSION.

I seriously hate it. I dont fucking care who the hell you are. FUCK YOU SERIOUSLY.KNNBCCB.

And now my laptop bluetooth aint visible.THANK AH.THANKS A LOT.

Yeh know i suck with all these tech stuff and now this.What a nice way to end my day.

Fuck this seriously.I should be more smart and everything, so that I dont disturb people that much with stupid nonsense I ough to know.Screw myself.

Dont fucking irritate me now.

I'll fucking get the chopper. I SWEAR.TRY ME.

2009-06-15T02:14:00.000-07:00

ずっと、このまま。
Tears dried up, and then filled up again.
Im tired.
Tired of always pretending that it no big deal where it actually hit me hard.
And each time, I always lie to myself, covering up.
Tired of falling and picking up myself all over and over again.

How many facades do I have to come up with, how many more mask am I going to wear?

I dread it. I seriously do.

There's a reason why I do not dare to look at myself in the mirror.
Because Im afraid.
And now its coming back to me again.
Everything.
Everything Im afraid, is coming to me.
Again.

I thought it over, but no.
Then tell me, how am I supposed to do without you here.
I have to get used to it somehow.
You wont be here forever.

I have to stop lying to myself.

Stop. Fuck stop it.

Forget it.
No one will know.

I know no one will know if I dont say anything.
But how do you suppose me to put those thought into words?

Im trying very very hard to not thinking about it.
But my mind just cant stop thinking about it?
No, its not about him. f you think it is then you are wrong.

世界わ、寂しい意ね。
僕に、一人です。

Im afraid. Very afraid.
抱きしめた。

2009-06-14T17:12:00.000-07:00

Waiting for lesson to start now. Hmms... *yawn* I cant remember what I did on thursday. I think I just stayed at home and nua, catch up on my animes. Oh yarhs, karei was supposed to come to my place but she didnt -w- so yarhs, I was nua-ing at home.

And then fucking imba stuff happened at night. Karei told me to get lockie for her leeks, but I cant get him, so get pa and some others to get him. All cant get him. But I finally got thru him told him and settle karei de leeks. Then rein called me suddenly, and told me that da is says that lockie's parent thought he's missing and is lookign for him all over.

Fyi, lockie's going ns on friday, which is the next day then. LOL. And I went online on cafe and say duraham's thread, which i literally LOL-ED. Yes I swear. I havent lol-ed at any thread since I cant rmb when.

Basically it's just a big big communication breakdown. But seriously hilarious. Prove that sgcafe is efficient. Or rather WE are efficient. Heehees. And then called up pa and arrange timing to send lockie off the next day and help karei with her miku stuff~~

Friday, woke up at 6 plus ( nyu my precious bishie sleep ;A; ) Then set off and took bus to pasir ris. But who knows tha bus was fraking slow that I am suppose to be on time and then I was late. In the end I met up with neither papa nor lockie. And I got so pissed, that I cried -w-

So I bused to pasir ris and then bused back. For nothing >_> Then met up with karei and kosmox at bedok, went to his house and nua abit and I went home to paint the leeks. Then bus-ed to bugis to meet up with rein petz karei and kosmox and go to her place.

Went guardian to get stuff, nommed at food court and then went off. Bus-ed to her place. Then nua-ed there and played with puteh and momo till the rest came. Oh, we were like, watching powerpuff girls, both animated and old version, then other shows. We were bored. HURHUR.

And papa karei and mummeh came. Continue to nua abit. Then suddenly papa and mummeh went to cook, with me helping 8D The rest in living room, some sewing some nua-ing. And I helped here and there~ The food were all cooked by pa 8D He's so proud of himself -w- Shall wait for the pictures. LULZ. Overall it was fun =3 *rabus*

Then saturday. Woke up, then I had no appetite so skipped breakfast. Rushed and prepare everything then trained down to somerset. End up I was earlier than em -w- Left my stuff there and went to find banana with papa for h0rse -w- And it rained, we ran back. Obviously we were wet. >_> MY HAIR *rant rant rants*

Came back, dyed up my hair and everything, the rest still there settling wig, make up everything lol. So sat there till around 12 plus 1. The rest went off. Pa k2 and me wait for the friend and then set off to scape. Oh my legs are already dying at that point of time -w-

The event was okay lurhs. Just that Im dying cause of the heat -w- Yesh i wore a coat. LOL. Saw many people that Im too lazy to name out =x But enqi iz a must! 8D She came especially to see me! WOOOTS 8D And poor pa, alot people dont recongize him.LULZ.

then after event went cine nom nom then go home. I brought stfu and wtf shirt 8DD Then go home koon liao, cause leg dying~

And then yesterday skip church cause my leg aint working -w- Which later affects my brain to be not working too xD So i spend whole day nuaing infront of comp and playing guitar XD

This is just like summary post. Alot of things im lazy to type xD

Yeh know I always have a love hate relationship with that indecisiveness of yours.
Many times it made me cry, because I thought Im was not of any importance to you.
But then again, its that indecisiveness that make you so adorable .

But I know that this is my choice. I chose to stick with you, and I know that I will get this.
So I'll have to change my mindset.

It's funny how I'll always cry to myself and then later I'll figure things out myself and realise that I've been too selfish to stupid to get upset over such trivial matter.
Shouldnt it be the other way round? Figuring the whole issue out first.

Oh well.
This is yuchi xD

Hees, and so you know all along. Blarh, so much from hiding -w-
Thank you for everything. And sorry for always troubling you.
Thank you for always being there for me when I am feeling down, when I needed someone.
Thank you for being my listening ear, hearing my rants, enduring my super randomness.
Thank you, for always leading me out of darkness, those words meant a lot to me.
Thank you for always making my day.
Thank you, for everything ♥

Because you'll always be the one who will make me happy. The one and only, my one and only.
사랑해요

Just treat it as Im goign gaga over my baby. If you figure who is it first then say. HARHAR.
And I need to get this on to somewhere, thus here.
I have to keep in mind, my primary source of happiness.

I have a feeling I'll get whack my karei is she sees this ._.
hmmms....

Oh well. I did say that Im waiting for lesson to start just now right?
Now im waiting for presentation to start xD
Thats how long I took to blog =x This and that, blardy hell connection D=
Im still quite confused over some stuff >_> haz to stop thinking, else it might come true. GAH.

2009-06-10T09:41:00.001-07:00

Immah BACK YO! Miss meh 8D? Haz no idea how long I didnt touch my comp. Hmmms~~ Shall upload piccy~ Theres alot so, Its gonna be quite a long post I guess .__.

Firstly, Mushroom farm! 8D Not much pictures cause I was busy wiping my sweats instead. lulz.

And then tabelet workshop~~ Poor takuya ;A;

poh poh mine ah boy's xD
Sunday! Brought MAH NEW SHOE!! U wont be able to guess how much it cost. Look so expensive right?! HAHA. I haz good lobang. Its only 10 bucks. Cannot believe me desho?! *smirks*
Then after then homed and went pennisular with master and kosmos. He bought his new blade and name is exo alu. LOL. Everything's name after papa how, Alu juicer Alu blender Athena alu exo alu @___@

AND YOU KNOW WHAT U KNOW WHAT? The guy at the roller blade shop si seriously damn cute lurhs! Like really prease? HOMG *melts* I haz his number *happy* But he say I look like 19 year old. WTFBBQDESUNE chui liao chui liao ;A; master took mah phone and refuse to return to me I cant take picture of him T___T *heart shattered*

Then went escape to find aka with master. Walked there like very fast. My legs T_T Then brought accessories and makan and went home. While in bus master asked me "eh why u never take picture of the cute guy?" I said " u take my phone how to take u tell me =w="

By the way this was like some random day at dance practise. Sunset nice desho? =3
And then monday went jogging early in the morning, plus the blister I got from walking with master -w- = my legs damn chui >_> then after that went bugis to shop = leg even more chui liao >____> x100 lol. Saw nic and jess at bugis and they were so shocked to see my sister. Cause we look damn different. HAHAHHA.

Then homed. Sleep. Wake up for camp on tues. Got the timing wrong -w- and alot os suay things happened which im lazy to type, want to know pm me lol. Got to school eventually. Settle down and stuff, played alot of icebreaking game. Lazy to elaborate lol. Made new friend. Allen and james iz awesomeee~~ So iz minjun and joanne 8DD Mah seniors~ WOOTS!

Practise play game practise, Then went home. So today went back to camp again. With guitar. Wah i tell u carrying guitar around is so troublesome =A= Then played games again, practise practise and I went off to meet pa for dance =3 And setsuru and rinya for wig.

Pa iz late! WOOOTS. Most of the time Im the one whose late =x tcss-ed then went for dance. We didnt practise today -w- cause lady bossu went off for i forgot what. So i practise guitar and pa taught sol some bio. And he koped guitar to try to remember how to play LOL.

Dinner at chompchomp's!! Like we ordered char kway tiao, prawn noodles, carrot cake, fried oyster, chicken wing, satay, ee mian, chocolate beancurd, strawberry beancurd, longan beancurd, milo dino, watermelong, sugar cane.

Awesome right. Shared between me pa karei rein kosmox. LOL. then tcss blarh blarh and bus-ed home. Picturess~~
Strawberry beancurd!
chocolate beancurd iz imba i swear 8D
Big big cups =D

Okay overall Immah a happy tart today though quite alot of stuff happen but I wont say it out. But I wont tell u why im so happy either. hehehehe. Maybe, Maybe not? =3

最終的にのはまだ私に微笑をされるである。
私は少なくとも覚えていたこと考えているが、私が嬉しいものを知らない。

これはそれらの記憶をすべて追憶している少なくとも私が唯一の才ではないことを示す。

私はどんな答えを私に与える、多くの希望を隠さないか私が知っていることを考え。
ちょうどこの感じが続くようにしなさい。
そして私達の関係はこれのようであり、私は満足する。
常に才常にである。私は愛する。

HAHA have fun. Blarh blarh blarh blarh blarh. Yuchi iz a happy bunneh naoz =333
HOMGHOMGHOMGHOMG.
can u stop making me so happy? I can die of happiness naoz. kill me 8D

2009-06-06T09:42:00.000-07:00

Slept at 2 plus last night cause was browsing sankaku =/ I havent update myself for like more than a month? So click and click and click till 2 plus =x And i woke up at 1 plus today. Awesome, sleep for more than 12 hour. Sleep is what I need alot lol.

Im still not sleeping and blogging now when I have church tml >_> I shall sleep tml then. LOL. No wait it's already tml already. It's nearly one now. Seriously, I dread going to church lorh. Never really told anyone the reason why, but yarhs. I dread going there like. Really. But Im like, I dont know la, trying to supress the feelings/thoughts. AH WHATEVER.

And so after I woke up, I just spammed my animes.

-Pandora hearts 10
-07 Ghost 9
-Asura cryin' 9
-Higashi no eden 7

And I feel so much better. And prolly cause of sankaku last night too. Otaku is in my blood. LOL. And because I updated myself with those yaoi/hentai/yuri pictures. I feel much much moar happier naoz =x

LAWL. So things that eventually are still the ones that will make me happy are animes and cos related stuff. LULZ. So much for finding what I excately want.

And then so dinner, and then I went off to find dance peeps. Took 65 to doubhy and got lost -w- Thank god i alight at ion and took train to bugis. lol. They changed locationlast minute so yeah. Watch em makan, saw kyon and went acrade. Rachel Alucard again. LOL.

Wanted to play my jubeat but I shy cause no one accompany meh ;A; Hands r itchy yoo. BOOS. Brought myself sundae and eat. onomnomnom and now im back home lol.

Went cafe and check out thread for blood yesterday night. And the remarks aint good. Sm queen and other says it really bad. Luckily I didnt watch, thought I really want to cause the background is really nice but Im afraid they'll spoil the anime for me so i dont dare to watch. So now im happy. At least I didnt waste money xD

And someone posted onechanbara videos on that thread. I went to watch and its so awesome lurhs! WANTS TO WATCH! And ah boy dl-ed it already. YAY! 8DDv big boobs main characters are winz =x

And i haz to lose weight soonish! Like Im getting really fat. In school I'll always eat and eat, go home also eat, go out also eat. HOMG. DIE DIE DIE. DIET PLEASE. AND HAZ TO JOG LIAO.
BUT NO ONE PEI MEH! ;A; Im that kind of person who'll slack when Im not with someone. OH NOES. ANYONE?

Thank god I read that book ah boy chung to meh yesterday. At least I got few tips =x He wants learn french. Anyone knows? Teach him LOL.

OH~ I did my rin ribbon already. In like, 5 minutes? LOL. AWESOMEE. I settled my break costume with hooola already. THANK YOU! Getting dar to sew it for me. So it's settled. Now my cosfest stuff. Im screwed ;A;

AND I WANTS TO GO SHOPPING! MY LIST IS LIKE NEVER ENDING. T.T MOOOLAHHHHHHHHHHH~~~

2009-06-05T04:26:00.001-07:00

Kop-ing stuff again. Today's hibari. LULZ, thanks to hooola, cause i went to her DA account and saw hibari's picture and thus started the craze again. One day one character. Nice horh 8D

Right click right click right click right click. HURHURHURHUR.

Okkay fine my eyes hurts now because my hands were itchy and went to click on some link. And I cant believe I actually read thru it and saw it WTF. WTF. GAWD. If yeh wanna know what is it, pm me. Only sch people will know what Im talking about LOL.

mmkay so last night after I blogged, I didnt watch my 07 ghost ;A; Guess what I did. I went to do one whole chunk of quiz at facebook. Serious. Dont wanna make this post WOT so wanna read it go my fb profile xD Then chat on msn with I cant remember who also .__. Stm's getting into me.

Then called boy cause he cheat me say dont want go workshop. Talk for I dont know how long cause I have to borrow his labcoat for him -w- Lucky I got lobang. lulz. Then yeah, half of the conversation was him coughing his lungs out .___. then koooon. Like really koon. Sibei tired LOL. Okkay la, not tired. I just want to sleep =x

And I think I got a nightmare and I cried =A= I cant rmb, but I really did cried. Sometime like I fall out with papa and karei? O___O Then woke up, got dressed and everything and set off to meet boy to go dar's house to get his labcoat.

I was late, he was more late. Thank god i smart 8D And I wore jeans today, hot can? *perspire* So after we got the coat, took bus to aquarius and took bus to school. WAS LATE. LOL. We were still on bus to school when it's 9. And when we reach school it's 9.01. Got off the, and jump over the ledge and immediately after landing on my foot I ran straight LOL.

THEN RAN RAN RAN RAN RAN ALL THE WAY TO AGORA. And I was already panting like mad le lorh. Shiat I lost all mah stamina D= And we finally reached ._. still panting lol. The moment we step in saw jason black. Recongize his face but dont rmb his name, cause we stil panting XD Until his friend shouted his name then we rmb-ed =/

Then workshop start me boy and poh poh start to talk crap and all, blarh blarh, didnt really listened =x Boy bully takuya la! ;A; Use his ARMY KNIFE and threaten to kill him. LOL. Lameeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. I shall upload the pictures soon. Iz lazeh. hurhurhur. Then played around with the machines and all, with boy and poh poh bullying meh ;A; One person one side si! *cries* Win liao lorh!

End workshop, lunch at south foodcourt. Did our usual stuff *coughbiogirlscough* nua nua nua then went booklink to see labcoats and get my earpiece. I swear rp's labcoat suppppar gay can. Like I wont get mine from there, NEVAR.

Walked to cwp. WE DIED. Sweat like no one's business sia. Weather super extreme, unlike yesterday. Yesterday weather was awesome lurhs. So walk walk walk, instead of taking bus, we went civic plaza to chill instead. So went library *coughbiogirlcough* again. And I think I gain alot of new info sia, just from reading those books he found .___. hmmms.

I KNOW JOO ALL WANNA KNOW WHAT IS IT BUT NAH I R LAZEH TO TYPE IT OUT SO TOO BAD HAHAAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAAHA. okkay not funny ._. So after that went home, did my rj for the mushroom thingy. Oh my brain x____x And then do until im super hungry, then ate horrible dinner again.

oh well. Got used to it, got used to everything. Whatever. lan lan suck thumb la, I got use to so many things now. That I dont even thing Im being force to or do it reluctantly. I dont know lurhs, It's like dog eat dog world out there. And Im like, always the one getting eaten up. I dont like what people do to me sometimes, I really like it. But I just kept quiet and wait till they are done with it. Then overtime, I just keep on burying burying burying everything. Everything.

Now, It's like Im just a cover, a shell. People like me and talk to me because of that shell. I doubt they'll like the real me, so I just keep burying everything inside. And putting on a front everytime. I dont know I really dont know. Ah whatever.

Talking to hooola now. And realise. HAY, I dont rant as much as how i used to last time, emo as much as how i used to. No more nong nong emo post. Or rants at cheenas or what. Is that a good thing? It's been a long long time since i called up pa whenever something happens to me. It's not, I dont have problems, Im beginning to like, hiding all these problems from people, because I dont to trouble em. Sure they'll say no you're not troubling, but still, u know in your heart that you are troubling them?

So I started to hide all my problem, how I feel. Like, I dont really like the idea of a stepmum. No matter what reasons u give me. But I just shrug it off and say I dont care blarh. But the fact is that I really dont like it because I dont like changes in my life. But then I told karei that Im okkay when she questioned me. She'll surely say that Im not lying to her but myself. LULZ.

Then helping people whenever they need someone to be there. Always there for them but even I need someone no one is there. No choice, they dont revolve around me I know but its kinda depressing. But what can I do?

And then I got reminded of it again >_> And my mind start to wander and wander and wander to no where when I eat my peanut butter sandwich. And it's still wandering. forget forget forget FORGET AH FUCK THIS.

Sometimes I think I really contridict myself alot. WAY ALOT. Like I always tell boy, aiya forget it la, dont think so much, u think too much lorh! No lorh, where got! Relax lurhs, why bother about it so much? Why let it affect you? Everything, and now im doing this =w= Selfpwn right

Aiyaa whatever lurhs. Stupid, I think im act cute by typing in such a way. Actually, my main purpose was to just rant. But I cant fully rant out all the details so Im doing it this way .___. U believe?

Chatting with san san on msn. Nostalgic sia. Like she mention all those primary sch and secondary school stuff. I feel so old .__. Im too lazy to elaborate lurhs. But yarhs, I like to reminisce cause like I said I dont really like changes.

Bleh, lazy to type wot already. off to lurk somewhere on the net. jaja.

2009-06-04T04:23:00.001-07:00

Current song playing: The last goodnight - Pictures of you.

Meh, I realised I've been dl-ing english and chinese songs recently. Whatever happened to jpop? =/ Well I've abandoned kpop long ago since no one updates me now. It used to be pinny, hurhurhur~

Came back from bedok reservior like 2 hours ago. And I spammed icecream the first thing I reach home. And then kena force to eat dinner. Fried rice that taste like bland water >__> Oh well, I have to get use to that cooking sooner or later, though it really sucks. wtf, I should stop being a gournet. LULZ.

Mushroom farm was boring, but okay lurhs. Woke up, did everything then took bus to interchange with sister, met up with boy, took 168 to school. First time bus journey never sleep sia. Was like tcss-ign with boy, disturbing jason =x And gossiping, yearhhh. Then met up with the rest after we reached. I actually forgotten to bring consent form =_= Im so smart. hurhurhur. Waited for chole, cause she thought it was at 12 instead =A= Hands down to her seriously.

Journy there was, I dont know how to explain. Like, Im spamming wilber baby's song. So it's like, quite emotional songs but, Im blardy high. So it's like, half high half emo. Weird. Reached, still havent get out of that state =w= But adjusted quite fast back into normal mode. LOL.

Pictures of mushroom shall be uploaded soon. Iz lazeh =/ But really, it's all mushroom, what else can I say? It's not that my brain aint working well. But it's like, Im sweating so much at that point of time that I didnt really see what's surrounding me @_@ So uhm yeah. LULZ.

Journey back was much worse. Was sitting alone, and spammed baby's song again. This time emo-ness took over me entirely. So Im pretty much zombified all the way thru the journey back, even when they sat down at pasta mania to nom and all. I just sat there, did nothing. Walk one around around basement while they were getting food. Wtf gotten into me man? >__> No idea.

After that took bus to tampines with boy and jason for his ezlink card. Then walked around Tamp 1, then off to tm to slack. Nua-ed there till around 4 plus. Then accompanied boy for his impromtu haircut -w-

Boy: I WANT CUT HAIR I WANT CUT HAIR!
Me: mmkay, this sat I'll be going there, u want go?
Boy: I WANT CUT HAIR I WANT CUT HAIR I WANT CUT HAIR NOW!
Me: Now? srs?
Boy: I WANT CUT HAIR I WANT CUT HAIR I WANT CUT HAIR NOW! NOWNOWNOW!
Me: kay kay =w= Jason want go?
*all 3 stand up and walk to intl* LOL.

And yeah, he's now happy with his hair cause he turn into a big shuai ge >_> I think I'll be talking to big vainpot tml wearing a laocoat. LOL.

And yesterday! I changed my msn scene! WOOOTS! REISEN BE AWESOME YOZ! 8DDv
I was like, woke up at 10 plus, doing usual stuff on comp, blarh blarh, chiong my shows then waiting to time to pass cause I haz no idea what time dance is. I dont wanna go there and realise no one iz there =A= So nua infront of comp, waiting for those to online to reply see if they going not. BUT ON ONE REPLY -A-

Then was talking bout ringtone with idk who, then my phone rang OAO Soulmate called! Im like OwO I miss you dear! 8DD And the first thing he said was : ARLOW, Im going to CC. Im like, huh? again? =w= Cause he always calls me when he's walking to cc to submit some stuff. hurhurhur~

But NAHHH. He was just kidding. He already at dance venue, so called to ask. But I wasnt there. But since he's there, I went off to meet him instead. He said he was like half blind and all so i kinda rushed down cause I was worried leaving him all alone. Who knows when I reached he was with broken. Make me worry for nothing =A=

Kinda spammed dance as usual, well at least I can memorise it now. Yesh I just memorised it fully today. Did danced old dances yesterday. Nostalgic eh. Magi ranger and all. There's only pink, yellow and read ranger now D= Oh well. Papa was like sleepign ytd and suddenly he almost fell off his seat .___. I wonder what he dreamt of. LULZ.

After that around 8 we went off to makan and I took bus home. Koon. LOL.

AND AND AND AND! I want to mention something, that I keep forgetting in previous post. Ever since I watched terminator, I think muscular man are damn hansum lurhs. But of course, with looks prease. Like my baby 8Dv

This is liek the best picture I can find of sam worthington, In other words, one of the main char of terminator salvation LOL. Which made me change my type of guys into these =x

Hot right?! LOL, I need to stop kop-ing stuff on net. Though they are like awesome cause I found em. HAHAH. No cause I wanna watch my shows >_> Im actualyl blogging because Im waiting for 07 ghost to load. I reackon I can load 4 epi with the time I took to blog =/

2009-06-02T21:36:00.000-07:00

Woke up this morning, haz been kop-ing stuff from the net. Background, pictures, emoticions blarh blarh. Name it I've got it. I think people who says that other cannot/shall not steal anything from their blog/website are stupid. I mean, this is the internet hello? WORLDWIDEWEB YO. Like please, even if i cant right-click or what, I still have other means to get it. Trust me, those xmms who doesnt even know how to use the computer =A= Go suck yr own ass. LULZ.

AND. MY WILBEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER!!!! HOMGHOMGHOMGHOMGWTFBBQDESUNE!! He's getting cutter and cutter each and every second! I love you baby! 8DDv Someone cure me of my fangirl-ism, I cant get enough of him! T__T I dont care if he's mirror image or boy for he copy boy I just want him!! ;A; wants wants wants wants wants!! *pouts*

-Pack bag and elope with wilber- =DD Gosh seriously. Okay I have to stop ._____.

I need to like, lose weight like seriously? I think I've been eating out for the whole week last week. Mehh, and I think i ate alot, HAVE TO LOSE WEIGHT. HAVE TO. MUST.

Going for dance later, but I have no idea what time la. And i dont know how to do. Smart horh =w= I ask papa he say dont know also. *facepalm.jpg*

And I finally caught up with my animes! Wooots~ Pandora hearts, 07 ghost, asura cryin'. Now im left with higashi no eden, kurokami. Finish these first then talk about the rest.

Going to mushroom farm tml. Haz no idea what to wear .___. Shall bring the big big mushroom sitting beside my bed there. LULZ, kidding. Hope i'll be fun. Still haz no idea what time and where to meet the rest =w= And then friday tablet workshop *yawn*

Doing quiz on fb. My personality same as boy =A= no wonder we mother and son. LOL.

OH! I FOUND CRAYON SHIN CHAN HQ ON YOUTUBE! AND ITS ORIGINAL! Seriously, I hate dubbs larh, like ruin the original cast's voice D:

haz no idea what to blog. shall nua jaa.

2009-05-31T19:51:00.000-07:00

Didnt sleep well last night cause I think I was mad to switch on 2 fans. And I got flu liek 2 hours later, around 1 am sneezing and excess awesomeness all over =A= NO.FUN.PREASE.

And before I forgot what I wanted to blog about the other day. Its like we're nomming dinner and I have no idea how we got into that topic of how we came to know each other. So we were asking each other what is their first impression of and so on. As usual I got the same answer " I thought you're a ah lian but you're not lurhs. " =A= Got used to it. And then it's like, I wont get to know this bunch of peeps I know now if not for boy. SANKYUU BOY! MUMMEH LOVES JOO =3v And I think I'll still be going home alone. Thank god for this bunch of peeps, journey home aint lonely no more! 8D And also lunch, breaks, events. WOOTS~~

And friday, waited for the usual bunch for their wushu to end. So while waiting, boy and I got bored. So we spammed o2jam and compare shuai ge(s) 8DD And I love my wilbur!!! HOMG HOMG, I was like, staring at the video and literally drooling can? And Im happy that my son haz wilbur's features! Or, the other way round, if he insist =w=

And so.................................. Sonny gave me permission to touch his hair! LOL. As in, style lurhs. So use water wax and style his hair like wilbur's ~ BUT his hair as stubborn as him, so i phailed ;A; Haz to get sochii to help. After that went to nom nom at foodcourt. And i nommed when i reached home too =w= Full meal lorh. SHIAT IM SO SCREWED ;AA;

So saturdayy!! I assumed I wont go out, but last minute went food expo! WOOOTS! Went in a total of 4 rounds, I think Im getting fatter already ;AA; 4 rounds lei! Met up with rein at tanah merah, then lockie at expo. Walked to hall 5, cleared first row while waiting for hunny to come. She came, we cleared 2 row while waiting for mummeh to come, then we cleared the whole hall XD Then karei and kosmox came, cleared another round ._. Let the pictures do the talking -lazeh- * get bricked*

Theres liek a 20 cent drink vending machine there. Super awesome lurhs. The first time when we wanted to buy, lockie brought his first, then when i wanted to insert my coin, it says all sold out =w= Lockie got the last one *step* Then third around, we went to get it, i insert my 20 cent coin, and I got 50 cent coin. Awesome right! XD And awesome mango rice is awesome!!

2nd round~
Awesome manga rice iz awesomeee

And so after that, we went bedok for watermelon nomnoms~ Too lazeh to type out the rest =x

Sunday~ Went for dance! Woots! Havent went for dance for so long! So half nua half spammed kiss my lips, I think i got 25% of it now. Well I hope. Then nom nom at suntec! Fried rice is imba lurhs! Luncheon meat! WOOOTS~

Yesterday~ Unofficial class outing! Took bus 22 to amk, thinking I’ll be late cause i left the house at around 1140 plus, but I reach amk zt 1230 sharp! Woots~ Met up with yu’ai then jeff, dan dan, and then went foodcourt, wen wen came then john. We watched terminator salvation instead of angels and demons cause we missed the timing D= But oh well, terminator was good lurhs. But I think yu’ai was more entertain cause we ‘jumped’ everytime she got a shock. LOL. After movie, went to find lockie for labcoat! Sankyuu! *hearts*And saw duraham too~ HAHAH Then went tabao and went yuai darling's place for dinner. Her place is cosy lurh! And it was entertaining, dont worry! =3

And time seems to pass by so slow today. I woke up at 12. And its only like 3 plus now. Hmmms. LULZ. Im spamming kiss my lips and chatting with boy on msn. Be bored yo DD8 Just called him, and he sound so ah pek-ish .__. cough indeed make one voice gone. LOL.

I think I've changed, as in, my temper and everything .__. Ever since I got to know boy, he ranting stuff to me. I think he's so much like me. So I kinda understand the situation of those people i confide in. And somehow, changed in the process. I dont think about ___ that much neimore, I dont know if i gave up or what, just I dont want to think so much about it larh, see how thing goes from here. I mean, Im sure I wont die without __ I will just miss ___ alot. Or maybe not?

And there's so much things that i cannot metion here, because Im on both sides, so yeahh. I dont really wanna take sides but I know about both so I cant reveal neither. Oh wells.

And boy, if you're ever reading this. There's no need to worry bout all that now lurhs, you're still young and Im sure there's much much more you can do in the future. So just take one step at a time now? *pat pat* And please please please please take care of yrself. Dont die before i do =x

Gawd I feel like sleeping now and I think what I type doesnt even make sense now =w= And wtf I hate my internet connection, like. super laggy la. Then msn dcdcdc *dulan* >_> How I wish I get HIN1

2009-05-28T17:08:00.001-07:00

Waiting for class to start naoz, but feel like sleeping z___________z Today's last day of school. Woohoooo~ Im like, oh yay finally, I need to catch up on things I miss out the most. SLEEP AND ANIME. I think I'll really die without it. My animes, catch up catch up catch up. Papa's like laughing at me cause Im really lagging wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy far behind >_>

Was supposed to complete this entry by 8.30, but was chatting on msn and trying to find out ducky de blog. HAHAHHA. I r awesome, yeh know on internet nothing's private? 8D

mmkayyys~ Just changed math grouping. yu'ai poh poh john emmanuel! WOOOTS! AWESOME-NESS. WE gona rock =DD

And so, I really cant rmb what I want to blog about -w- hmms, err err. Oh yarhs, joanne's my da jie, poh er jie, shuhui san jie. Of course im the youngest 8DDv

So as you guys know, was very mad at the faci on wednesday >_> But yeahh, thanks to classmates and friends, yu'ai, boy, rein. I was feeling better, but still mad at her. LULZ. Then went for mushroom talk during lunch. Have to do a rj on that somemore -w- Blarh blarh blarh.

Monday stayed in school, wait for the gang to finish wushu, then went kfc for dinner. Then uhm, tuesday what uh, errr. Cant rmb -w- Oh yeah went mos burger for dinner. MY RICE UNAGI BURGER! 8DD I miss it so muchhh~~ *drools* But jason boy and I went up the bus without nic and jess ._____.

Wed, missed dance due to culinary welcome tea ;A; But I made nic friends 8D 8 of em, cause a group mah, with boy so 8 =3 It was niceeee to know em, fun. Cause im like high for no reason =w= And ate alot of choco. Then aftermath went nomnom with boy at bedok inter and went homee~~

Yesterdayyyy~~ Died during maths can. Like wtf, srsly. Even the rj aiming my team =A= Was having flu too ;A; Called papa, but he was sleeping so I let him, seek help from hooola on msn. Then after that called papa after he's awake. Thanks alot papa and hooola!! Owe you all tons! *rabu rabus* m(._.)m

Then went to pei boy eat yesterday after school. But saw john yu'ai shuhui jeff tom and we joined em and gossip 8DDv had funn yooo~~

And my holidays are like, fully booked already =A=
Monday- Movies with class peeps.
Tuesday - Culinary activity
Wednesday- Dance; and nothing will stop me from going
Thursday- Mushroom farm tour. LOL
Friday- tablet workshop

Plus i still have guitar camp and all =w= Holiday = no holiday. I WANT TO STRIKE OFF ANIMEOFF THE LIST!!! ;AAAA;

Things to do:
- Dye hair; cut hair
- Save moolah for wig, costume
- Head ribbon for rin
- catch up with latest asura cryin', k-on, kurokami, 07ghost, pandora hearts. AHH! DIES! ;AA;

I think om screwed for cosfest. I have nothing yet, and one more month only sia ;A; mmkay I should stop naoz and help out with mah teamm~

And gah, alot things cannot say here ._. hais.

2009-05-26T18:35:00.000-07:00

Yes, Im fucking piss now. So if you're uncomfortable with vulgarities, DONT READ. I ont give a fucking damn now. Those who know my temper should know. When im angry, I dont care who are you. I'll just fucking scream at you if you irritate me, I might even kill someone. No choice, I inherit this from my dad. hurhur.

If you're wondering what happened. Today's enteprise module. And i fucking hate the faci for this module. It has always been my dl-ing session every wednesday. And I DONT FUCKING KNWO WHAT'S HER PROBLEM. You heard music, then you walk up to me and told me I cant play music during lesson. FUCK YOU LA KNNBCCB LANJIAO FACE DULAN KIA. MY EAR PIECE IS PLUCKED IN LORH. LIEK MUSIC CAN PLAY SO LOUD UNTIL YOU CAN HEARD WHEN MY EAR PIECE IS PLUGGED IN. GO SHOVE SOMETHING UP YOU OWN ASS LA. DONT ASK ANYONE TO FUCK YOU, I THINK THEY RATHER DIE THAN TO DO SO.

Fuck la. I want to pon now okkay, i dont even feel like comign today since there's no UT. And now this. Fuck la. Dont want to fucking see her face.

KNNBCCB.

Im too pissed that I cant even remember what I want to blog about previously, since im blogging, I migth as well blog out the rest. AIYA FUCK LA. FUCK EVERYTHING. TMDF. _|_

2009-05-24T22:19:00.001-07:00

3 uncle eating XD hilarious can
camwhore in boys toilet lol.

YAY. PEEEKTURES 8DDv Im kind lazeh to upload all, like sleep naoz. Waiting for presentation to start *yawn* I wants to sleeeeeeeeeeeeeep preeeeeeeeeeeeeease )= I still have UT later lorhs, I think I forgotten what I studied yesterday already =A=

So dead prease. Like still have math UT tomorrow. Having dinner outside today 8Dv Today's cognitive, super slack lurhs. LOL, and I sign up for the tablet workshop. Agnes, eve, vanessa, boy, poh poh, jason. LOL. One whole gang, too bad not all from SAS ):

GAH WTH LURHS. Got last minute info that I have welcome tea this wed. I CANT DANCE ALREADY. I WANT TO GO! ARGHH. Kill the president for culinary DD=

Im like, very happy now. Very veryy veryyyyy~~~ =33v Reason: DONT WANT TELL YOU LEI. Kay lurhs, I cant say, if not very obvious =x Those who know, shssh! XD

And so friday went for guitar with joanne. Was like, damn depressed cause of some stuff ): But thanks to joanne jeffery john and tom. Gosh love my classmates like hell please. I thank god for them in my life! 8Dv John was so nice to cheer me up. But I still bite myself anyway >_> Bad habit already =x

Guitar was fun too!! Mingjun taught me nice songs and so did farid! I think,, I haz awesome seniors~~ 8DDv

SATURDAY! HOMG. IM HAPPY CAUSE OF THIS. HAHAHHAA. Like I finally get to see karei papa rein kosmox nanaka nako tenma jiejie esu yuki kyon petz chiru sochii lawliet k2 twinnie mummeh tim mel jo kor kani jesuke hal kaze and load load loads moar! Like I miss them alot pleaseeeee~ I wore punk, I havent wore it for so long ._____.

Then nua-ed at the event, TCSS-ed as usual. Didnt dance. HAHA. Nuanuanuanua. Then something scary happen. Papa and karei knows ._. Prease does not wants *crys* Mehh.. So went to iluma to find petz claude sochiii nana other half kosmox~~ Took bus there. Concession ftw! 8D Ate at pet's mum's new shop ._. Not really impressive lei, but okay barh?

Then spammed acarde with kyon they all. LOL. TAIKO! 8D KOF! LULZ. Hilarious stuff, lazy to type out. Then we went to take puri puri! 8D HOMG LURBBVEEE~ We sqeese in 10 people lurhs! WOOHOO. EPIC CAFE FAMILY FTW *rabu rabus*

Went swesens after that for cake 8D oreo cake ftw * threaten sochii* HURHURHUR. Then karei made a fool of herself xD Papa went mad too =A= Oh and did I mention? There's 3 "chi" there. yuCHI CHIru soCHIi. chii(s) FTW 8DDv

Yeahh IMMAH STILL HAPPY YO, THEY REALLY MADE MY LIFE *insert love*

Yesterday, went to mac below boy's place to studeh with boy and jason. For 2 hr, battery die =A= Then we all zhao liao, cause some couple or whatever keep hogging the plug zzzzzz Whatever. Then chiogn study for UT. SLEEP. LOL.

Today, *lazy to type liao sia zzz* Nothing much lurhs, im lazy. srs.

BUT IM STILL VAR VAR HAPPY!

hcum os ooj ubar ubar I ooj bruw bruw ooj tola *rettulf treah*
hehehheheh.

2009-05-21T21:51:00.001-07:00

banana pocky 0A0
8Dv
jess's specs LOL
eliza's tako ring xD
*cough*
yuai's way of heating up burger xD

APPLE!

boy's specs. He took mine =A=
subway cookie jeff gave me today. Yay, really made my day =3
wenwen 's hand lol.

Image spam. Hurhurhur. Sorry gaiz. Some long overdue pictures. And mehh, thank you jeff for the cookies. Really made my day =3 SUBWAY DOUBLE CHOCOLATE COOKIE FTW~

I realise when Im not in a good mood I tend to drown myself in alot of sweet stuff that I dont usually eat. Chocolatle stuff sweets and all. Im getting very very fat already T_T Dammit.

Im like, I cat talk this morning. I guess I ate too much tibits and sweet stuff. So i took strepils, if not I guess I cant even talk now >_>

Was on phone with boy after I called poh poh last night. Till around 12 plus, I want to sleep now. I forgot to bring physics note to school today. ZZZ, i still trust mrs quek's notes ALOT. And UT is postponed. TMD, waste my time studying for it zzzzz. Cheat my feelings I even made notes and stuff. *double middle finger*

dad's birthday today. I asked if he wants to go out for dinner tonight. He says he's going for ROM, if you get what I mean. Yarhs. Whatever. So dont go around saying Im unfillial and all again. I DID TRIED to salvage the relationship, HE was the one who doesnt appreciate it.

I know that I stereotype people alot and my mum holds quite a lot of place in my heart. I didnt disagree with the marriage. WHAT THE FUCK MORE YOU WANT ME TO DO? Havent I done enough?

All these while Im always the one taking the blame for EVERYTHING. I dont want to further elaborate anymore, I've blog about those uncountable times and Im FUCKING SICK AND TIRED OF IT.

YOU FUCKING EXPECT ME TO SMILE AND TALK OPENLY AND FRIENDLY TO A PERSON WHO I DONT EVEN KNOW AND MET FOR THE FIRST TIME? WHY DONT YOU JUST SLAP ME IN THE FACE. ASSHOLE.

Dude, FIRSTLY, that person is A STRANGER TO ME. I said hi, I did not misbehave and such, I did the least I could. And then you claim this and that. FUCK LA.

fuck this fuck everything Im not going to bother about anything anymore. What's the point?

Im going to dye my hair to pink and blonde, come back home late at night after school. Who cares? I dont, i dont give a fucking damn.

OH. I saw oreo yesterday sia. hees. He's still so cute lurhs *melts* And my bad habit is still there =A= I'll run when I see him. I was like "HOMG BOY CAN WE TAKE TEH NEXT BUS??!" And yarh, we took the same bus, thank god he didnt recongize me cause I wore my specs. And i drop off with boy instead of my usual stop *heart pounding*

SO CUTE LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA *heart flutters* Going gaga over cute and shuai guys are better than waiting for someone. HAHA.

hooola - GAH @_@ I changed le, immah sorry yo. typo. And yeah, she'll slaughter me =x
strife - Mehh, you still havent fully gave him to me anyway =x *runs away*
yang - haha OF COURSE LA! I know you for almost 2 years le lei! 8DD I miss jooo, was just talking bout u with mel in sch teh other day xD
fiera - hahha. very zhun right xDD fun sia.
Ryuko- takuru satoh =x why? xD

2009-05-20T22:44:00.001-07:00

Heeheees. I've divorced Takeru and patched back with Wilbur =x I love you hubby! *grins* Im sorry strife. HAHAHAH. ILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOU 8DD

I cant stop laughing right now cause of nic LOL.
Click on image to view larger resolution. LOL. He change my name on purpose =A= Ignore that. Dare to laugh at me, he was the one that ask why no sound after me la. Damn funny can. And now he's like telling me not to laugh at him.

Me: *laugh nonstop*
Nic: Dont keep on laughing at me lei, I also got feelings one lei, I feel so hurt now *sniff sniff* *pouts*
Me: *laugh even more and cannot stop*

And then I went to screenshot that picture about, crop out his blog url. Then he told me to fill in the colour so nicer, I filled in black, he told me to change to grey so can blend in better, but too dark, ask me change light, then he say too light
=__________________________________=

UT yesterday. It was okkay I guess. Hope I do well that is. And played o2Jam with nic again after we complete our UT. He trash me sia! T_T Cheat my feeling, the song I never play before lorh!!

Went to study with boy jane and jason. Was excatly in the best mood. Sorry guy, joanne and gang too. Cause of some stuff. Oh well. And then went for dinner with boy and his family and jane too. Cause jason ps-ed us. LULZ.

I realised I've been teaming up with team alot of times sia =A= Cannot dont laugh with him around lorh. LOL. Especially john, cause nic and I will always squibble and then john would laugh =__=

Then dan dan will always do so hilarious lame stuff tgt with zul. So is diniy. LOL SIA. Love my classmates, they'll always enterain me lurhs. YAYZ KLAZZ OUTING SOONZ 8D

Oh and just treat previous post as rubbish. I said it's pms already. HAHHAHA

By the way Im going to dye my hair. WOOOOTS. My dad dont allow. But, do I give a damn? ^^ Dont know what colour and which style to dye lei ]: Need to consult sushi dar le XDD

HAHAH enteprise was yesterday and I aint listening. Was busy downloding hubby's new album. Woots and installing stuff on laptop. HAHAH. And oh! Uploaded videos on youtube. Didi's donald ducky sound, wen wen dancing and that time at kbox. CAUSE IM BORED. NE NE NI BU BU.

I need to study soonish. I think im so gonna be dead for science UT which is tomorrow @_______@ Chiong tonight already. boohoo.

Hais, I cant blog what I fully want to in my blog ): Cause I cant let some people know some stuff. And I know they'll sure read my blog. And there're somethings that are better kept to myself. I thought that blog is the place where I can fully say what i want, oh wells.

He used to be the one I told everything, everything too. Everything I do, see, feel. Bad things about people. I dont even need to hold back, I just say what i want to, be who i want to when Im with him. Not anymore now. He wont be there, for me.

I went toilet yesterday, saw eve class de malay girl and said hi. Waiting to go in, then vanessa came out. And the asked for elisha. I went in toilet, came out and saw winnie jess and agnes plus orientation friend =w= wai everyone in toilet sia. LOL.

And this morning, saw hakim at my bus stop. Was like O_O literally, didnt know he live in the east. So we boarded same bus, and then I felicia board the bus. Next next stop, elieen and deeron boarded =A= Next next next stop, jess nic waihong madeline board =w= wai in the world so coincidence today?

And then when we reached woodlands, thinking to wait for joanne not, cause she said she boarded teh bus after ours. And we waiting, while queue-ing. The bus came, went all the way to the back of the queue and i swear the queue was damn long. Thought joanne can reach by the time we board, which is next bus. Who knows the next bus arrive just after the bus arrive, just behind it =w= And we kan chiong liao cause she havent alight yet. In the end we boarded the bus, thinking that she wont board.

We knows she actually boarded and suprisingly no one took teh seat in front of us though the bus was full. So she sat down with us. LOL.

Science today, dont really understand. CHIAM LIAO. OH YAY I MASTERED 25% OF KERO DESTINY LE. haha.

Yu'ai - haha thanks dear! Do take care yooo~ Dont worry bout getting B eh? Im sure you can get yr A's =3
Hooola - meh. ahahah yeah i got used to it too. Pms lurhs, ignore it xD
Kosmo - =w= thanks for reminding me my wig not yet settled. And I DONT DARE TO WEAR D;

2009-05-18T17:07:00.001-07:00

Cause I feel like killing someone right now. Anyone. And I dont know why. Suddenly everything so overwhelming. I feel so fake, I dont know what is my true self anymore. I having serious mooodswings now and then. Dammit.

I cant take it anymore. So pretentious, so fake. Those fake smile, fake laugh, hypocrisy.

Primary school, Secondary school, ever since young Im always the one been outcast-ed. Made a great bunch of friends in school, but somehow, I still feel a distance. I have a hunch that It'll be the same as before, or it is really me that think too much? I dont know.

Just treat it as Im a sensitive bastard and im having pms right now.

WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY. Fuck this man, Im not going to pen down what it is cause It'll sure come true if I did, as it's always been this case.

And I cant pen things I want here cause zakie dear said before it aint safe to post family stuff here so I cant.

Fuck la im sick and tired of this shit man. I should learn from master. But Im not that kind of person who'll get use to loneliness.

I need someone to save me, before darkness devour me. Cause Im already losing myself.
Cause you DO make such impact in my life.

It freezing cold and dark here, without you.
I need you here with me now, I need your hugs.
But I think I've gotten used to it, somehow.
But because I know, you'll never be here.

2009-05-17T05:36:00.000-07:00

因为我超怀念和你做过的每一件事。
Alot of stuff actually come to my mind, thanks to ah boy la. Remind me of so many stuff. Emo mother have emo son =w=

Im thinking if i should type out all those thing, I meant. What's the point? After all it's like, im the only one reminiscing all those memories we had. Or i doubt he even remember it.

Those things I used to hold so dear, should I give up? I know I should, but I cant bear too. I know master mentioned it before, and I understand perfectly. But it's just, I'll totally lost my direction in life if I do so. My life revolves around him, then and now, partially.

It's just. After everything, everything that We've done together. Do you even understand? Everytime I see a certain thing/item I get reminded of him. No matter how much I drown myself in stuff and make myself forget I cant. Digimon, yellow tori, countless stuff. How people would contact you if they cant find me, because you'll know. How I use to rely so much on you.

Realise that Im starting to pull away from him. Slowly. But I always draw myself back to him? This shows how much I cant do without him, I know karei will sure say it's nonsense.

Whatever, enough of these nonsense. I'll sort it out, some fine day.

Was supposed to go dar's place for majong but I slept cause I was too tired =A= Sorry dar. I really miss those people. I literally spent my entire holiday with them )= *pouts*

Ah boy go into emo mode liao, completely >_> Ah well. Im getting free lunch from lipoh! HAHA. First joanne now her. LOL. ROOAR. Firstly I need to stop the emo aura flying all around =w= My class already got a shock when i cried. LULZ, cause Im super cheerful and hyper in class, so you wont think that i would even cry that kind. But yarhs. But Im glad that I have nice classmates =3 Class outing soonish yoo!!

Problem solving tml, Gah i dread it lorh. The problems are like =w= LAME. Ah well. Oh yeah! I kinda went shopping today. Brought a shirt, tanktop, belt and phonepouch. Wanted to get my landyard, bag and shoe but im broke T_____T Luckily I didnt buy the bag, it's fake. LOL, poor quality product. Nah, i shall skip it. Shall not indulge in cheap deals xD

And i need to get rid of my bad habits. Buying of accessories. I love to buy acessories la, ring, wristband, necklace. But in the end i always end up using the same thing =w=

I realised I lead a quite a happy life. I have good friend in school, outside school. In the course i want. And everything, except him. So why do I still get angry at things so often? =w= Kay fine today it's that bitch that provoked me first. Bloody hell she haz pms.

Speaking of which jason boy and I were comparing msn contacts the other day and I calculated I've got over 400+ contacts on my list. See how sociable I am, and i dont even hangout/talk to half of them as much. Cept for cafers, love ones and school peeps. LOL.

Kay I dont know what im blogging about but it's just randon nonsense thats in my head now and liek alot of things running through. zzzzzzzzz. Whatever, i should go to sleep. When i just woke up for 3 hr. lol.

2009-05-15T23:08:00.001-07:00

ARGHHHHH!!!! I WANT BACK MY OTAKU LIFE STYLE! I feel so zombified everyday lurhs~ I need my daily dosage of anime, be it yaoi hentai eechi or just plain hsoujo or shounen. ARGHHH. I can die at this rate. I havent watch a SINGLE episode of anime this week. And i swear it's true. Like school's being a bitch.

Im lazy to update bout school. It's just the same everyday so yarhs =w= I got a "A" for maths module lesson3. My one and only "A" And the rest are all B's and C's. DAMMIT. DDD8 So im chiong for UT already, going to study after this =/

I've been kop-ing stuff on net since i online this morning. LOLOL.

OH! I've done digimon quiz on facebook and i got 100% 8DD kay kay with the help of papa. HAHAHHA. I love digimon, because its the only common memory i have with *cough* hurhurhur. ah whatever. missyou

And thank you ah boy for yakult ytd =3 mummy love you. HAHHA. Did i mention that i pick up guitar again? Went for practise ytd and i feel so retarded there, cause they are teaching basic stuff i know, so im like more of teaching joanne the stuff she needs to know. HAHA.HAHAHA.

「°松山ユチ. yuchi ✖ 」君わ僕の全てさ ♥ says:
*i got time no one free
*no time everyone free

HAHA. quoted from convo w ah boy. srsly. how long has it been since i met up with cafe people already ): ugh, it's like i mention it almost everytime in my blog post la. Im tired of it already. zzz sua.

k im lazy to blog. bye bye.

btw, this is mth 777th post. lol

2009-05-13T21:41:00.000-07:00

science module now.
problem related to chemistry today.
im sorry wen wen rahrah didi poh poh, ididnt contribute much cause i dont take chemistry
and plus im sick too.

Sorry. really sorry if i pulled teh team down.

i guess the nickname dance peep gave me was true after all.
uselss bunneh.

2009-05-13T00:52:00.001-07:00

Current song obession: TAKERU *rabu*

One love – Arashi

Ayaka- okaeri

I think Arashi’s plain awesome. Like all their songs are very nice, currently downloading the song Wish. I think ryuko would agree with me that arashi’s awesome too, desho? xD OH SHIAT. I cant stop finding new arashi songs. And ayaka’s too. Like, its really nice .______. Effect of not downloading songs for too long T_T

Still downloading alot of song. HAHAHHHA. Today’s enterprise, and it sucks. I fucking dislike the faci prease, super irritating. I feel like shoving something up her ass. Sorreh, once i hate someone i wont stop =x So yeah, im not even listening to her talking yo. I think she’s talking nonsense la, I shall just read the 6P and study on my own for UT.

Faci mouth still non stop talk. Its okay, my earpiece is always in my ear =3 To avoid pollution to certain people 8Dv Have UT client thingy later, not sure if i can make it to dance anot. And still have school tml z__________z

Rushed out eve’s bday card ytd and asked the peeps to sign and gave it to her after school. Hope she enjoy her bdae xD And then some asshole says to go early for dinner cause she have to go out. LIKE WTF. I DONT FLY OKAY. *points double middle finger*

Fine whatever. I have alot of videos in mah lappy naoz. Have to wait till im free then watch it 8Dv Coped it from Jason. HAHAHHA.

Iz drinking chocolate milkshake naoz. Its not that bad la. HAHAHAH. I eat chocolate stuff but not really chocolate itself =/ Especially not dark choco please. Im not papa –w-

Class is boring yo. Like really, ws damn stupid. Stupid faci give stupid ws that contains stupid questions. Damn lame. Blarh whatever.

Wheees. Love my class. HAHA.

Nic’s like bloody lame. Im sorry im chor lorh okay!

Rah rah! with damn cute smiles and super hilarious at times.

Pohpoh! who always disturbs me in the morning and nudge me cause its free xD

Joanne! super cute and blur girl 8Dv RC AH!

Shuhui! My jpop song updater now. HAHAH.

Yu’ai! Mrs Parker, she’s damn nice la. And smart =D Straight A’s sia. Royal flush xD

Wenwen! Reason why i got a A liek finally. Cute la him! Alway. YUCHI! Then stare at me xD

John! Who’s very blur –w- Like really, for his age. Gosh, hahahha.

Diniy! I’ll feel uncomfortable without sitting beside him xD hahah *pat pat*

Eliza! What she say always make me laugh. She laughs when she’s nervous. LOL desho? She loves serial killers! xD Dont know why she remind me of charis ._.

Dandan! Who always kena attack by us. Go pak tor ah! xD

Shall take picture with em soon. HAHAHA. Kay im just beening random cause im bored and i don’t want to listen to lesson. Hurhur. Blarhblarh blarh.

Mehh, i think smth’s wrong with my bladder. Im going to toilet like every 3 hrs? =w= Drink too much water and too cold.

I miss dance peepos ): LOCKIE! I miss his hugs la, like talking to him naoz. Meh. And the rest too. )):

-sob sob sobzzxzx-

UT just end!! No kick. HAHA, i finished faster than expected and then played o2 jam with nic xD
bored bored bored. HAHHAH.

2009-05-08T22:43:00.000-07:00

渐渐习惯了。
虽然还是很伤心，但是，我还能做什么？
为什么每一次都是我？我只想要得，只是朋友的陪伴，支持。
至少，通知我一声，有那么难吗？
算了，我最大的错，就是生存在这世上。

不，我没有说这是任何人的错，这全都是我的错，我错就错在自己太傻。
敷衍的话我听了太多次了，我也厌倦了看别人的背影。
好人，实在是太难做了。可是，要让自己开心，也那么难吗？
我不知道你昨天没有下车是不是真的是因为太无聊，还是放心不下我一个人这样。

无论如何，谢谢你。
在我最需要人陪的时候默默的陪在我身边。
我知道你看到我哭了，虽然你没说什么，我明白那是因为你不擅长安慰别人。

不到一天之内哭两次，我会失去太多水分。哈哈。
笑得很假？我自己也不知道自己上次真正开心的笑过是什么时候。
我已经慢慢习惯了。

我难过时，只能抱着小黑哭，买巧克力让自己高兴起来。
因为，我没有认可以让我诉苦。只有这里。
渐渐的，我的面具越来越沉重。
你们看到的，只是我逼自己开心的那一面，到现在，没有人看过我真正悲伤的那一面。

你说你帮了她那么多，为她做了那么多事，她还是种态度这样对你。
你何尝对我也不是这样吗？

咳~ 人始终是自私的。
我也因该学会为自己活，而不是别人。
我也明白，人始终是孤独的。

karei 和rein ，我这个entry 不是因为你们没有邀请我去才写的。
我也在这里，为我刚才的行为道歉。对不起。

是因为太多事情发生了，一时之间无法承受，所以才会这样。
对不起。

如果说我不难过，是假的。不过，我还能做什么。
还有你，算了。我放弃了。
不是因为另一个他，而是我完全放弃感情的事了。
为何为了一个不可能的事，让自己那么伤心？

渐渐麻木，习惯孤独，寂寞，是我最要好的朋友。

2009-05-07T22:18:00.001-07:00

I brought takuya to school today. LOLOL. And yeah, kuro too, since i havent brought him out for so long. I kinda changed kuro's style. But he's still punkish. In case u forgot who kuro is ): He;s my bunneh bag. LULZ.

The meiji milk is a lie. LOL. I swear.It's panadol. The bottle is nic's. Cause im having cramps ytd, so got pills from rah rah. And yarhs u all know i dont know how to eat pills so have to crush it ._. No choice.

Science was okkay yesterday. Could have done better if not for the cramp >_> Sorry rah rah wen wen poh poh didi. Then went for cue sports briefing, met daddy. Then went makan with kason boy minghong at mac. Went home. KOON. lulz.

Maths is awesomeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee today. I SWEAR. Im beginning to like maths and the faci. At least he's better than the fucking enteprise faci. Damn angry _|_ So i went on break, lunch and will go home on time today. YAY. 8Dv

And I love my class. Today's great cause *cough* is not here. And the class is like. OH YAY. hahahhaa. stereotyping ftw =x But i feel sad for *cough* OH WELL. Class outing after UT! wooots~~

And went to dabao lunch with boy today. That lame fella. what boob dance =A= But oh well, at least he made me happy. LOL.

Im not going to think bout it anymore. As long as I've done what I've supposed to, my conscience are clear. The same thing's just going to repeat no matter what I do anyway. Oh well. I gotten used to it. Immune. Copy from boy. Heck care. *hugs kuro*

WTFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF SIA. Imma so UPSAD ( inside joke, haha) sia. So many new episodes came out and like, it's so fast. And I have no time to watch )))))))))))))=

But no matetr what im going to watch angels and demons. Maybe with usual gang. Duno, boy andi want to watch badly. Papa? nah, he have time for everything except for me. Sides, it's 'boliao' anyway.

Awesome book iz awesome. Shall re-read if i have the time or not lazeh =x

Im so going to get A for maths today 8DD -poke wen wen- if he ever read this. hahaha. No im not angry at people in class, not you =w= and no, never cry. I stop doing that long ago. No point. hurhur.

Wen wen so cute today la. Keep on asking me to send his songs. Cause im used to be a huge TVXQ fan. HAHAHA. Cause of peijuan ah. I stopped cause no one update me ):

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
因为我难过只能抱着小黑，买巧克力安慰自己。
WAI WAI WAI WAI! WAI IZ ALL THESE ALWAYS HAPPENING TO ME.
Just when I force myself to be happy. And then this happened, AGAIN.
It's always me me me me. No matter who it is.
Fine. I cried, calmed myself down during bus journey home.
Thinking that I just have to get use to this, after all, I've been treated like that ever since I call people my friends.
And then I went home, just asked one question, and i got reprimanded.
HELLO! Im just asking a question to clarify, my fault?

Okkay fine that everything's MY FAULT.

I'll just disappear then.

Im sorry to post all these shitty stuff so often.
I have no one to go to, I dont want to bother people.
Or maybe, i shall just perish instead.

2009-05-06T22:34:00.000-07:00

Because you really piss me off that much.
SUNNAVABITCH.

Maybe it's the time of the month thats why im so worked up.
Oh well, shall see.

Might be back, maybe not.

I didnt want that day where i seriously hate you to the extent that i dont even want to see your face.

Dont bother asking who the person is. Only some know, but if i dont want to tell you, then it's because im afraid that if i do, the relationship between both of you might be affected.

No, i didnt even tell papa.

Because I didnt want to bother him. I doubt he cares anyway.
Like he had his peaceful days for few weeks not meeting me and all.

Whatever.
The pain's numbing everything anyway.

darkness has already devour my heart, and because i know what i see at the end, will not be hope.
And though im tired of all these, im never gonna stop doing what I've always been doing.
Though the world all against me, I'll always show my smiles.

2009-05-05T03:43:00.001-07:00

hahahhahahahhaha That time during KTV. Jason Jane meh boy. Eve's the photographer. Imma at sports complex now for badminton try-out *yawn* Hungry sia, waiting for eve to finish then go makan. And i think im dead man, like srsly. I joined 3 IG. I think dropping cuesports. Jason and boy's standard. I no need to play liao la =w=

And blarhh. I NEED TO DANCE LIKE SERIOUSLY. I havent danced for like i think a month? Bones are cracking yo ): Going to next dance practice. And i miss the people ): Yah i miss dar. Just web-cammed with her. HAHA. Actually only mah face. Oh well.

And ohoh. I miss yang sia. Was browsing thru old pictures i found this:MEHHHHHHHHHHHHH. Like if yang see this she'll say WAH SO LONG AGO DE. hahahha. Yeah it's very logn ago, that i cant even rmb when. It was when I was still a noobie in cosplay and subculture circle. With yang suki yukime, the UJRs. HAHAHHAHA. It's been really long since the 4 of us met up. 2 years?

Suk graduated now, with bf. Yang already overseas. Yukime getting married. Im in poly. Ahh, time flies. Actually, this blog post is not organised cause i cant rmb what excately i want to blog about =w= And boy's beside me making me laugh so i cannot rmb lol.

OH YARHS. I want, oh no wait. I NEED to lose weight. Like blarh. Im PHAT. And ah boy always get angry when i say that cause he'll say he's fatter T______T But canot compare la. Though im a girl and all. )):

And wai boy doesnt believe im more shuai than him when i cross ): Thats partly the reason why i thought of yang. She looks really bishie when she cross la. She's also partly the reason why i want to cross. But i still phail ):

Kayys, this is just a random update. Self reminder again.
-concentrate more in class
-contribute more, focus and do not loiter online
-lose weight
-start on props soonish
-save money cause i want go shopping ):

AND OH. IGNORE LAST POST PLEASE. lol. random post blarh blarh. stupid but i wont delete it. Gahh, so hot in sports complex now and IMMA HUNGREH YOOOO. -growls-

And i have some unknown confession to make. LOL. u wont know cause i wont say. Aiya duno la i dont want to bother myself with these things now like >_> lazeh to think prease.

HAHAHHA. Oh yah, i wanna thank for those ppl in my life like mah family, dance ppl, school friends and classmates. They be awesome yo, and thanks for everything they've done for me. Im abit lazy to list out names now so yeah.

LOVE YOU GUYS <3

2009-05-02T00:40:00.000-07:00

I never knew, I would miss you this much.
Like, you've already become a part of my life that i cant do without.
A part, not apart.

And it's only like what. 2nd week of school? And i miss you terribly.
And no, i didnt tell anyone. And didnt mentioned it to anyone.
Whats the point?

I shall just leave you alone to do your stuff and when you're done, shall see what I want to do then.

Because I really have the urge to fly over and hug you right now.
Because no one knows how i feel.

And yesh, i do miss others alot too but. you're just on the top of the list, the one i want to see the most right now.

Im pretty much satisfied with life right now. I told myself not to procrastinate, not to complaint, not to get angry, get rid of my short tempered-ness.

And i did, Im actually studying right now, memorising points from 6p, even though UT is still long way to go. I didnt get angry at people so often right now, though they cross my limit way loads of times. I just smiled and said its okkay. And beared with it.

The only thing is that I cannot get rid of my stereotyping, it's just, part of me.
I cant really call it stereotyping, it's just my character. If i dont like this particular person, no matter now hard he or she tries to get into my good book, it'll never work.
I told ah boy this on thurs while coming back home from minghong's place for bball.

And yes, im very happy and thankful to god for sending these people in my life. My classmates and the ah boy's gang.
Class aint that boring anymore, we bonded better and have a common topic.
And bus rides home wont be lonely no more. with ah boy and jason.
Of course not forgetting lunch breaks and after school, eve jane jess vanessa amos nic minghong ck chole.

But i still feel empty.
Because you're not there.

Im too used to having you there with me, no matter what happens to me, you're the first to know. And if anyone cant find me, they'll get you instead.

I miss those times, i miss those tcss sessions on phone, spam msn and msgs, gathering people going to dar's place for nom nom, missing you calling me phail.
I miss you, get it?

And yes, Im a idiot for keep on holding on to you and refusing to let go. Despite people around me telling me to. I just cant bear to, i dont want to. Call me whatever you want, i dont want to get used to life without you. I want you with me. Impossible i know, I'll just continue dreaming.

Im sorry master, what you said didnt get in. I understand, but just. I dont bear to put those words into action, and that shows how much it meant to me.

BLARHHHH. random post. /ignore if you want.

2009-04-28T18:31:00.000-07:00

BLARGHH.
Killer said to type it that way =w=

Oh wells, i haz no idea when i last blogged. LOL, nah school's not really THAT busy to the extent that i cant even blog but it's just, tiring lurhs. But nothing major happened in my life. LULZ.

Like i wake up at 6 everyday, then bus to school, start lesson, meet up with usual gang during lunch, presentation, nua a school for abit then go home. And the bus journey iz really a killer, so whenever i reach home im just plain tired and just want to sleep. But i cant cause i have rj to do T______T

mehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. I want back my otaku life. Yush i abandoned it cause of school, i dont have time to watch mah animes and read mah manga lurhhhs~~ xiaoxu understands my plain lolol.

And im sad now cause i lost the picture that papa drew on msn! Oh no )): It's so precious lurhs. Like papa rarely draw. Oh wait, that was the first time i seen him draw )): boo. Iz be sad.

Haz been hanging out with the same gang in school recently. jd jason eve jane and others which i r lazeh to type. HAHHA. Yeah they are nice peeps =3 BUT I MISS DANCE PEEPS LIKE REALLY AND SRSLY.

papa karei broken lockie killer invinc rein and others. BOOOOOOOOO. Havent go for dance for i dont know how long and havent met up with em ever since school started ))x And i havent danced in i dont know how long. My bones are cracking naoz D8

And yeah kinda miss holiday where i hang out with em everyday and all ): My otaku life style. Holiday = dance group people, dance, outing, nom nom sessions, animes, manga, drawing. But now i can do none ):

But well at least we have cafe to connect tgt. Else I'll be so sian. But hahah not to worry man. We haz awesome bonding for years liao we catch up damn easily *rabus*

And hahahha i thank god for jd and jason yo! Bus rides home aint lonely no more! 8Dv Though they always bully me T_T But still, hahahah iz be fun. Bedok ftw =x

And GAHHHH. I need to stop complaining like really. Though i dont open complaint thread (no pun intended) I rant to peeps like everyday >_> Like every single thing and all, changing my msn pm to vent also. Oh gawd, school makes yuchi a angry and impaitient yuchi D8

No good no good. I need to go back to the old yuchi where even if people insult me i wont get mad and all. HAVE TO CHILL AND RELAX YOOOO. MUST KAN KAI YI DIAN. DONT BE SO PETTY. hahahhah. 忍一时风平浪静，退一步海阔天空。

LOL。 Whatever im typing are like alot of note to self thingy so haha if you dont bother to read just exit lol. And my forever stereotyping attitude. I'll never get rid of that bad habit. Oh well, have to live with it lorhh~ *pouts*

Have to pay attention in class more! Like im msn-ing, cafe, blog hopping and everything except for paying attention in class. And it's like only what, 2nd week only. Jd say i gonna fail ut liao T_T Does not want preaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. I haz to pay attention but im a fucking internet addict so yarh.............. *emos*

Nei mind, i haz motivaton naoz. papa wants me to go uni, i shall work hard and perservere! love yah papa xD

and and and and and. the most important part of this post.
I BLARDY HELL MISS THESE PEOPLE ))))x

papa! karei dar! lockie! broken! yuki dar! master! enqi! ryuko! zakie! zelmie! jiejie! rein! wayne! yubin! yang! suki! yukime! sawa! huney! tsuki! partner! sushi dar! kiriko! kyo! haru! midnite! hayate! killer! invinc!k2!

booo its been so long since i met em DD8

and to ensure karei dar smth, though i've made new friends doesnt mean i'll forget you guys. Dont worry our bond is there, we've been through so many shits. Our relationship iz damn strong 8D refer to rein for the convo xD

and bleah. shits gg to happen again. Same stuff -.- when will he ever learn? when will she stop lying? -.- lame laaaaaa

and stop sending me sms that i can sms like in spore. I AM in spore. stupid - .-

2009-04-21T23:51:00.000-07:00

Very good. Im sick right now. Have been sneezing nonstop since morning till now. Blardy cold and i didnt bring my jacket, thus i borrowed from jd. And it's like he's damn tall with board shoulders so the jacket's like damn big and the sleeves are damn long. Shall upload picture later or something.

And im like really dying here please. The flu's already killing me and now im having migraine. Like awesome right. Thank to some bloody groupmates la. Just my luck to get her/him ( cant say) Im like doing all the ws and all zzzzzzzzzzzzz thank god i have rah and nic man. Like i love them.

Nic gave me a lolipop cause im sick lol but it's not orange ): Nevermind i shall eat it anyway.

So yeah, sorreh dar iz skipping dance cause im really dying *bows*

Math tml, see how i die even more chiam.

oh btw im a ENFP:

The Inspirer

As an ENFP, your primary mode of living is focused externally, where you take things in primarily via your intuition. Your secondary mode is internal, where you deal with things according to how you feel about them, or how they fit in with your personal value system.

ENFPs are warm, enthusiastic people, typically very bright and full of potential. They live in the world of possibilities, and can become very passionate and excited about things. Their enthusiasm lends them the ability to inspire and motivate others, more so than we see in other types. They can talk their way in or out of anything. They love life, seeing it as a special gift, and strive to make the most out of it.

ENFPs have an unusually broad range of skills and talents. They are good at most things which interest them. Project-oriented, they may go through several different careers during their lifetime. To onlookers, the ENFP may seem directionless and without purpose, but ENFPs are actually quite consistent, in that they have a strong sense of values which they live with throughout their lives. Everything that they do must be in line with their values. An ENFP needs to feel that they are living their lives as their true Self, walking in step with what they believe is right. They see meaning in everything, and are on a continuous quest to adapt their lives and values to achieve inner peace. They're constantly aware and somewhat fearful of losing touch with themselves. Since emotional excitement is usually an important part of the ENFP's life, and because they are focused on keeping "centered", the ENFP is usually an intense individual, with highly evolved values.

An ENFP needs to focus on following through with their projects. This can be a problem area for some of these individuals. Unlike other Extraverted types, ENFPs need time alone to center themselves, and make sure they are moving in a direction which is in sync with their values. ENFPs who remain centered will usually be quite successful at their endeavors. Others may fall into the habit of dropping a project when they become excited about a new possibility, and thus they never achieve the great accomplishments which they are capable of achieving.

Most ENFPs have great people skills. They are genuinely warm and interested in people, and place great importance on their inter-personal relationships. ENFPs almost always have a strong need to be liked. Sometimes, especially at a younger age, an ENFP will tend to be "gushy" and insincere, and generally "overdo" in an effort to win acceptance. However, once an ENFP has learned to balance their need to be true to themselves with their need for acceptance, they excel at bringing out the best in others, and are typically well-liked. They have an exceptional ability to intuitively understand a person after a very short period of time, and use their intuition and flexibility to relate to others on their own level.

Because ENFPs live in the world of exciting possibilities, the details of everyday life are seen as trivial drudgery. They place no importance on detailed, maintenance-type tasks, and will frequently remain oblivous to these types of concerns. When they do have to perform these tasks, they do not enjoy themselves. This is a challenging area of life for most ENFPs, and can be frustrating for ENFP's family members.

An ENFP who has "gone wrong" may be quite manipulative - and very good it. The gift of gab which they are blessed with makes it naturally easy for them to get what they want. Most ENFPs will not abuse their abilities, because that would not jive with their value systems.

ENFPs sometimes make serious errors in judgment. They have an amazing ability to intuitively perceive the truth about a person or situation, but when they apply judgment to their perception, they may jump to the wrong conclusions.

ENFPs who have not learned to follow through may have a difficult time remaining happy in marital relationships. Always seeing the possibilities of what could be, they may become bored with what actually is. The strong sense of values will keep many ENFPs dedicated to their relationships. However, ENFPs like a little excitement in their lives, and are best matched with individuals who are comfortable with change and new experiences.

Having an ENFP parent can be a fun-filled experience, but may be stressful at times for children with strong Sensing or Judging tendancies. Such children may see the ENFP parent as inconsistent and difficult to understand, as the children are pulled along in the whirlwind life of the ENFP. Sometimes the ENFP will want to be their child's best friend, and at other times they will play the parental authoritarian. But ENFPs are always consistent in their value systems, which they will impress on their children above all else, along with a basic joy of living.

ENFPs are basically happy people. They may become unhappy when they are confined to strict schedules or mundane tasks. Consequently, ENFPs work best in situations where they have a lot of flexibility, and where they can work with people and ideas. Many go into business for themselves. They have the ability to be quite productive with little supervision, as long as they are excited about what they're doing.

Because they are so alert and sensitive, constantly scanning their environments, ENFPs often suffer from muscle tension. They have a strong need to be independent, and resist being controlled or labelled. They need to maintain control over themselves, but they do not believe in controlling others. Their dislike of dependence and suppression extends to others as well as to themselves.

ENFPs are charming, ingenuous, risk-taking, sensitive, people-oriented individuals with capabilities ranging across a broad spectrum. They have many gifts which they will use to fulfill themselves and those near them, if they are able to remain centered and master the ability of following through.

ENFPs take their relationships very seriously, but also approach them with a childlike enthusiasm and energy. They seek and demand authenticity and depth in their personal relationships, and will put forth a lot of effort into making things work out. They are warm, considerate, affirming, nurturing, and highly invested in the health of the relationship. They have excellent interpersonal skills, and are able to inspire and motivate others to be the best that they can be. Energetic and effervescent, the ENFP is sometimes smothering in their enthusiasm, but are generally highly valued for their genuine warmth and high ideals.

ENFPs make warm, considerate, passionate partners who are generally willing, eager, and able to do whatever it takes to make The Relationship a positive place to be. They are enthusiastic, idealistic, focused on other people's feelings, and very flexible. These attributes combine to make them especially interested in positive personal relationships, and also makes them very able to promote strong relationships in fun and creative ways. ENFPs take their commitments very seriously, and are generally deeply loyal and faithful to their partners.

There are a couple of difficult relationship areas for the ENFP. The first problem is that many ENFPs have a problem leaving bad relationships. They tend to internalize any problems and take them on their own shoulders, believing that the success or failure of the relationship is their own responsibility. As perfectionists, they don't like to admit defeat, and will stick with bad situations long after they should have left. When they do leave the relationship, they will believe that the failure was their fault, and that there was surely something they could have done to save the relationship.

On the entirely other end of the spectrum, many ENFPs have a difficult time staying focused and following things through to completion. If they have not focused on their ability to follow through, they may have problems staying in dedicated, monogamous relationships. They are so in tune with all of the exciting possibilities of what could be, that they will always fantasize about a greener pasture out there somewhere. If they are not paired with a partner who enjoys new experiences, or who shares their idealistic enthusiasm, the ENFP may become bored. The ENFP who is bored and who is not focused will be very unhappy, and will eventually "leave" the relationship if the problem is not addressed.

Since relationships are central to the ENFP's life, they will be very "hands on" and involved with their intimate relationships. They may be in the habit of constantly asking their partner how they're doing, what they're feeling, etc. This behavior may be a bit smothering, but it also supports a strong awareness of the health (or illness) of the relationship.

Sexually, The ENFP is creative, perfectionistic, playful and affectionate. Their rich fantasy world makes them fun and creative lovers, who usually have new ideas up their sleeves. They whole-heartedly embrace the opportunity for closeness with their mates, believing sexual intimacy to be a positive, fun way to express how much you love each other.

The ENFP needs to be given positive assurance and affirmation. More than one ENFP has been known to "go fishing" for compliments. They like to hear from their significant others that they are loved and valued, and are willing and eager to return the favor. They enjoy lavishing love and affection on their mates, and are creative and energetic in their efforts to please. The ENFP gets a lot of their personal satisfaction from observing the happiness of others, and so is generally determined to please and serve their partners.

A problem area for ENFPs in relationships is their dislike of conflict and sensitivity to criticism. They are perfectionists who believe that any form of criticism is a stab at their character, which is very difficult for them to take. Conflict situations are sources of extreme stress to the ENFP. They have a tendency to brush issues under the rug rather than confront them head-on, if there is likely to be a conflict. They are also prone to "give in" easily in conflict situations, just to end the conflict. They might agree to something which goes against their values just to end the uncomfortable situation. In such cases, the problem is extended and will return at a later time. The ENFP needs to realize that conflict situations are not the end of the world. They are entirely normal, and can be quite helpful for the growth of a relationship. They also need to work on taking criticism for what it is, rather than blowing up any negative comment into an indictment against their entire character.

Generally, the ENFP is a warm and affirming creature who is very interested and able to have an intense, meaningful, close relationship with their mate.

wah bloody true man lol.

2009-04-21T01:33:00.001-07:00

LOLOL. 2 idiots are looking at me blogging naoz .________.
I think i havent blogged in sucha long time ;A; Sorreh peeps, haz loads stuff in mah hands. Kays it's more like quite rush with school work and all =/

-shiat im like at a loss of what to say naoz-

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK.
That 2 idiots trying to disturb meh and wants to off mah lappy T_T lolol. Waiting for jinde to finish eating and shall go home. And me and jason nua-ing with him lolol.

Im so glad i've made awesome friends in school 8DDv Like my classmates. Especially today's group. We're CHI DI WEN RAH POH!! 8Dv LOLOL. Inside joke xDD We're damn awesome peeps. Make stupid jokes all the time. Awww, i wish everyday the grouping will be liek today.

We're like, damn zai 8D Cause i felt accomplished when doing the ppt slides *smirks* Because it's science science science science. And i love science, like how i love -cough-

Kay imma crapping naos.

So yeah, monday went to school. Do the crappy school stuff then blarh nothing much. OH YAH. Faci says my group did the best amongst all other team.
MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA.

Then while going home i saw jinde and his friends, who late became my friends cause im super sociable ^^v The bus-ed back together. I went for dinner and then meet time at safra after that. Played board games and more of disturb each other till around 8 plus then went home, do rj and go koon xD

Today, woke up at 6 ;A; And i kept on shivering after i bathe. Like super cold ._. Then bus-ed with jason to school. Then went to class, got into our grouping for today, which i love so much 8D Cause diniy and we love to disturb each other. And also wen wen. HAHAHAHHA. Plus rah rah and poh poh too =3 wheeeeees~

And was cocking with alot of people on msn during first meeting today xD Like i drew alot of nonsense stuff to jinde and mass convo with whole class XD

Met up with the same group again for lunch today. Then went back to class after that and chiong presentation.
School ended met up with jason and jinde( not used to calling him jinde, shall call him ah boy ), went to mac and nua till we shiok then took bus home xD

So im now online blogging and doing rj and hope that i have time to complete my unfinished new season anime episodes ;AAA;

Oh yeah btw, my class are filled with like damn zai people can. Like there's a tech whiz, nic. Then a super zai search engine girl, yu ai who is damn cute and i love her 8Dv Then a guy serving in K9 unit sia! LULZ and i talked to him bout dogs today =33 Then damn cockster guy wen wen, then didi who disturbs me, rah rah the crazy girl xD Then cheryl who loves X japan! 8DD And other who i dont really care =xx

And so yeah. I have alot of stuff to do. Like yeh know my subscribed thread now are like longer than usual, and i dont dare to post in new post cause i have no time to read it and update myself T_T And those wots, usually i just scan thru em or have to read em real slowly. Cause I HAVE NO TIME ;A;

Im suffering from anime/sgcafe/online withdrawal syptoms. Basically, holiday withdrawal syptoms cause Im like spam cafe, update and watch new animes everyday during holiday. BUT I CANT NOW -emos- So my new season anime list are like piling *heart ache*

k-on 3
saki 3
asura cryin' 3
kurokami 13
kuroshitsuji 24
hatsusoi limited 2

And others that i cant rmb .______. Ah boy sending me ppt slides now and 6p. AHHH! i love you ah boy! (not literally but yah) so yeahhhh awesome tml i shall relax 8D BUT THURSDAY GOT MATHS LORH WALAO EH ALGEBRA SOMEMORE *headdesk* T_T I need papa, eh no, kosmox/hoola xD And plus have to attend talk with ah boy >_>

AND MY GOD I WANT TO GO SHOPPING CANS?!
-Red spece ( yush i want ANOTHER spece xD )
- Jacket ( Rp bloody cold ._. need more )
- Grey skinnies
-more shorts xD
-shoes ( mine torn for very long le lei TAT )
- Slippers
-Sandals ( I almost typed as scandal xD )
- redxblack checkered belt
-my wig =x

Nothing else, well i think so. AND OH YAH GUYS. Like i said i dont really have the time now i dont really blog hop as i do in the holidays. Mostly i'll just pop over to dar's blog, yang's chibino's daddeh's chiru and lawliet, if i have the time other. So yah =x

Im trying so hard to practice my 3 languages now. English chinese and japanese. It's really hard to maintain all yo. Like i type alot of chinese, but i realise that i cant memorise em and write em down T_T Have to use phone. English, you all should know =/ And my japanese. Practicsing hiragana, memorising katakana and kanji is hard task T_T Shall cop notes from papa soon =33

That's about all i guess. Going to do rj now. JAJA.

And oh, msn is still crazy -.-

我的心情现在很矛盾，因为我昨天看到‘他’。
过了两年，在看到他的心情是无法形容的。
不过我只是看到他的侧脸而已，他也没看到我。
然后一直在想，我那时是真的喜欢他吗？后来就联想到了现在那个他。
大概一个星期没看到他，没和它联络，不过我没有以往那样的想念他。
反而，对在新学校里刚认识的一个人很想有一点感觉。
可是想了想，算了吧。我厌倦了在人家背后守护着他的日子。
我只想要被守护。

被爱使终还是比爱人来的幸福。
那我，爱你吗？
答案，没人知道。

2009-04-18T00:59:00.000-07:00

Rawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwr.

Im offically pissed off by MSN now. Like I cant initiate a convo with people. It'll just keep on giving me the "The following messsage cannot be send to all recipients" Like z______z What's the point of msn when you cant start a convo with someone?

But when people starts the convo the msg can be sent. Like what the fish?!? So peeps, start the convo with me everyday like hi so i can talk to you everyday -.-

Stupid msn lurhhhhhhhh!! *kicks everything in my sight* It's not only when i use my lappy. It happens when im on desktop also lorhs~ >_______> So what, my email address problem?

Yah right i'll go troubleshoot my own email address. Like i even can. zzzzzz. Blardy pissed. Does not want to sign in to ebuddy everyday la ;A; Life in school will be so boring lorh!

Speaking of which. Went for orientation camp again ytd, which iz the day. And i was late for my class. But i didnt regret, cause my class iz made up of really awesome peeps! 8Dv Not really that awesome but well at least they are wayyyyyyyy much better than those anti social freaks in my group previously. So yeah.

The whole class kinda make friends each other and get along well just within 10 min. Awesome desho? =33

Then went back to home base, reluctantly xD shirely diniy and i slowly walked to canteen and grab some light bites and slowly walked back to home base. -yawn- Home bases iz boring~~

Few minutes later after my laptop was set up pris called me and chee hiong to go for the photoblogging thingy. We assembled at 11 plus and we have to complete the blog before 2 -.- What the the hells lurhs.

It's nto just plain uploading pictures and blogging lorh. We have to filter the suitable pictures, find blogskins, edit the code, find the music. And we had to discuss the theme that we want to use firstly.

And all of us like really got into doing it, helpign each other, giving suggestions and all. Kinda bonded in a way. The best part iz we dont even know each other and their names. Yay we be awesome yoo xD

Got really really stressed and rushed thru teh stuff. We dragged till 2 plus 3 cause there's really alot of error that came up. GAH. I almost fainted. Cause all of us skipped our lunch just for this. And we refuse to go for lunch and insist on finishing and everyone go for lunch tgt.

wheeeeeeeeeee. i love them 8DD Ad yeah, we're finally done like around 3 plus @_@ All dead beat. But the effort was not wasted. SAS WON THE PRINCIPAL CUP! WOOOTS! SAS rawks 8D

Yarhs you can tell imma happy naw because i've made nice friends in class and photoblogging. Because they are not cheenas and they are spontanous! wooots~ And most inportantly, they are not nerds =x

After that i pon-ed jam n hop. Met up with fier and went to lunch/dinner. Then nua-ed in school till 5 plus and he went for his meet up and i went home. lol. blardy tired.

I feel like sleeping naw but shall nto waste the internet connection =3

And oh yeah, i've learnt a no.of kanji ytd! 8D My learning method are hilarious and im lazeh to explain.

Have been reading reader's digest recently. lol. And i've gain quite alot of 'insights' Nah, i wont tell you cause im lazeh to type =P

2009-04-15T23:13:00.000-07:00

iz be in sch naoz. Var the bored DD:
papa nevar reply my pm yo *emos* Student leaders teaching some cheers and all and immma tired and wants to sleep T_T

Leg breaking yo, after dance yesterday. Which was quite good 8DDD Randoming iz be good yo, but dancing after orientation iz sucha killer. Went pasar malan with yapyap and brougt sasauge 8DDv

I have like so much stuff to blog bout now but itz like, i duno how to start, feeling weird to blog now cause of enviroment =.=

--------------------------------------------------

Reached home. Damn shag =A= So i shall pick up from where i last posted? Cant rmb what happened and it's like im too lazeh to check so yeah. Start from ytd, which was orientation day 1.

It's kinda summarised. Imma sorreh, bear with me cause the most impt thing you need to know iz my rant. GAWD. Okkay nevermind.

So went to school ytd, boarded e bus and saw korkor and gang and joined em. Chris boarded e bus, we reach intl and walk to sch. Seperate from chris yapyap and kor cause diff sch, so me and
gary walked to sports complex cause SAS and SIT iz next to each other.

Go there, look around. No one i know TAT Then emo alone lorh, listen to em talk while listening to mp3 blarh blarh. Finally got into groups. Then yeah.

Went for activities, then took mrt with yapyap and i met up with papa for dance. Lazeh elaborate on it too -.- Then went home, slept at aorund 1 plus and woke up at 7 plus. Sian i wants to sleeps lorhs z________z

Then today, went to sch. Went base camp, blarh blarh activities lunch blarh blarh everything cheer and all. And met up w lawliet and kosmox. lol.

Cause was connected to internet. I can go msn 8DD And it's fast too yo. And internet loading speed damn fast. Awesomee, 5 bar lei >3 And then ranted to daddeh nanaka seth esu killer. lol. And i brought my laptop for nothing. Sian, should have known dont help my sl lurhs.

But aiya see her so kelian, imma nice person yo 8Dv But it killed me instead >_>

[Rant] You can skip if you want to, i dont really bother. Just, want to rant. Cause iz be rally pissed. -chains of vulgarities-

Disclaimer: The rant is not directed at anyone/anything. And if the rant kinda un-respectful or make you feel uncomfortable. I apologize sincerly, because im really very very, (im at lost of words to describe it) shag right now. So yeah

BLOODY HELL SAS GOT NO SHUAI GE CAN? Like really, NONE. My gawd la, i meant its like rally fine to have no shuai ges and all, i dont really care but then it's like there's not even ONE that is decent looking/average looking/walk-past-will-look/can-look/okay okay looking de lorh.

DONT HAVE LA WTF. Well at least i havent seen em and for what i know, really dont. There're all like extinct creatures seriously. The guys are all like wear nerdy specs hair ugly face = full of pimples and dressing are like = go kopitiam kind. MY GAWD.

And the nerdy specs is not those that u see ppl wearing for fun nowadays that kind lorh. It's those type of old old specs design, when specs was first introduced. Those golden thin metal frame that kind de lei. I rmb i wore it in pri 1 and never wear le lorh.

WTF sia. I thought those specs were extinct can!?! Fucking doods.

Not only that lorh, no shuai ge. no decent looking/average looking/walk-past-will-look/can-look/okay okay looking de guy, okkay fine. NO MEI NU ALSO?!?! WA PIANG EH, really lorh. The girls are also like the guys, extinct specs, long hair without frigne all tied up, dressing machiam auntie, their bags machiam going overseas liddat.

Oh gawd. My life, my world. Is ruined. Like really. really. really. really. D.O.O.M

Thats only the first part okkay, i have alot of rant. So if you're reading and cant take it, i suggest you close. Like really.

Second. Fine with no shuai ge mei nu whatever.
BLOODY HELL FOR 2 DAYS IM SURROUNDED BY FUCKING CHEENAS.

Yes, i really discriminate them. Shoot me or whatever. This is my personality. It's just like for example you just dont like cosplay and feels that it weird or so ever. It's the same thing for me. I dont like cheena, I just dont like them to e extent, but not really discriminating em but aiya whatever la.

And no, it' not because some cheenas offended me or something. As you guys know i blog in chinese, speaks chinese, read chinese manga and even msn in chinese too.

I've got nothing against chinese. It's just, em. It's just, I hate the sight of them, hate to hear them talk, just hate everything bout it. Or rather more of anything realated to cheena world. understand?

It's just in me. So im really sorry if i offended anyone. Like say, hal-chan. Im sorry, but i got nth against you hal ): Wai cant teh rest of teh cheena in the world be like hal chan? Then i wont dislike them le lorh D:

So yarhs, was bombarded with cheenas for 2 days. And i really cant stand it and complaint to (duno-his-name) a friend on mine from the group. And he agrees with me too ;A; -shake hands-

And they even talked to me somemore. Homg, they asked me if i can speak chinese. I really feel like saying "huh?" Or "wakarimasen" Even better, lawliet says reply like this : Sorry I dont understand chinese but i can speak, or vice versa. lol.
So i just answer yeah. And look else where. Thank god my sl asked me to go out for the blog thing, if not i think i'll die there. Srsly.

Third. MY GAWD MY GROUP PEOPLE IZ LIKE FUCKING NON-SPONTANOUS CAN?!

The sl iz liek wanting to make em more enthu and high and all, cheer and participate in e game, but no. There's just like not active in games and all cept for teh few of us. And the sl so ke lian, so we kinda like helped her to make em enthu, volunteer ourselves, lead them and everything.

BUT WTF THEY STILL SAME THING. TALK TO THEM = TALK TO WALL. NO, talk to wall even better i think. wtf.

There's like one anti social dude in e grp. When chiru walk past me to see how i was doing, she even notice lorh. And its a she. My god, at first i thought was a he la >_> But 'he' doesnt even look bishie. blarh.

Then like a bunch of girls in e grp, they're okkay blarh. Cept very lame at times =A= And a bunch of female ah neh. -no comments- 2 ah lians, one dude who self proclaim leader and wants to 'di siao' everytiem but iz made of phails, a bunch of nerdy guys, 2 male ah neh. And finally my 3 friend who are at least normal. And oh, there's 2 normal guy in e group too, but didnt catch their names ):

Gah, i ot-ed lol. Dont if you get my complaint not but then, COME ON LA. you're here for a camp yo. If you dont want to be spontanous or does not like to get high or what nots, DONT COME FOR TEH CAMP LA.

Like if anyone point a gun at you and say you MUST GO. Yes it's complusory but walao eh use your brain can. WTF can the sch do to you want you didnt attend orientation camp in POLY? Poly lei, you think sec sch meh? Piece of ----

Blarh whatever, im already very tired to even get angry. zzzzzz

Fourth. Dude. I dont know wtf you want with me. But if you're unhappy or whatever shit, talk to me, either irl or online is fine with me. Just confront me la, need to do those stuff meh? You think i dont know? And what's the prob seriously. Like you ---- my fault liddat. In teh first place, you're ------- yourself lorh. Cant blame ppl. Sides, i dont have ------ anyway.

[/rant]

Im too angry and tired to even continue on, cause leeching wireless such. Blarh.

2009-04-12T10:40:00.001-07:00

Because, they dont care, he dont care. No one cares.
Then why the fuck i bother so much?

因为我在乎。
很笨吧。
我自己也不相信
我只是一格不知羞耻的人
已经不是第一次了
他妈的，松山ユチ，你到底甚么事后才会放聪明点啊。

他们给你的暗示还不够清楚吗？
摆明了用完你就把你丢在一旁，
你还厚着脸皮那你的脸去帖人家的股骨。

你何时才会明白啊？
你还要自己伤心几回才会学会啊？

算了吧，我这辈子注定了是要自己孤单的过。

一直以来我都是自欺欺人。

我，很累了。
好想睡觉哦。
就这样永远睡下去。
睡了，甚么都不用去想了，甚么也不用管了。
那该有多好啊。

2009-04-10T23:10:00.000-07:00

Quiz from fiera:

TEN ARE YOUS

1. Are you single - Attached to gino =3
2. Are you happy - Maybe?
3. Are you bored - Pretty much
4. Are you fair - Not really
5. Are you Italian - Nah
6. Are you intelligent - Of course
7. Are you honest - Well i guess so.
8. Are you nice - Need me to say?
9. Are you Irish - Nope
10. Are you Asian - Yeah.

TEN FACTS

1.Full Name - Yuchi Matsuyama
2. Nicknames - useless bunneh
3. Birth place - Singapore
4. Hair color - Black
5. Natural hair style - Yeah.
6. Eye Color - Brown
7. Birthday - 08/11/1992
9. Favorite color - Black/Pink
10. One place you'd like to visit - Japan

TEN THINGS ABOUT YOUR LOVE LIFE
1. Have you ever been in love – Dont think so
2. Do you believe in love at first sight – Maybe
3. Do you currently have a crush? Nah, i love mah gino loads
4. Have you ever been hurt emotionally – Maybe
5. Have you ever broken someone’s heart – Probably
6. Have you ever had your heart broken – My heart belong to me, not broken xD
7. Have you ever liked someone but never told them – uhm yeah.
8. Are you afraid of commitment – Not really
9. Who was the last person you hugged – Killer
10. Who was the last person you said I love you to - Chiru 8Dv

TEN THIS OR THAT
1. Love or lust - Love.
2. Hard liquor or beer - Milk tea
3. Cats or dogs - Dogs
4. A few best friends or any regular friends - huh?
5. Creamy or Crunchy – Creamy.
6. Pencil or Pen – Pencil.
7. Wild night out or romantic night in - Romantic night in.
8. Money or Happiness – Happiness.
9. Night or day – Night.
10. i phone or Sony Erisson – Sony Erisson.

TEN HAVE YOU EVER
1. Been caught sneaking out – Yeah.
2. Seen a polar bear - Yeah.
3. Done something you regret – Yeah.
4. Bungee jumped – No.
5. Eaten food that fell on the floor – yeah
6. Finished an entire jaw breaker – ??
7. Been caught naked – Nah
8. Wanted an ex bf/gf back – I'll rather die than to do so.
9. Cried because you lost a pet – nah
10. Wanted to disappear – Yeah.

TEN PREFERENCES IN A PARTNER
1. Smile or eyes - Eyes.
2. Light or dark hair – Either or
3. Hugs or kisses – Both
4. Shorter or taller – Taller
5. Intelligence or attraction – hmm.. both =x
6. Topman or Zara – topman
7. Funny or serious - Both?
8. Older or Younger – hmmm...
9. Outgoing or quiet – no preference
10. Sweet or Bad – Sweet.

TEN HAVE YOUS
1. Ever performed in front of a large crowd – Yeah
2. Ever talked on the phone for longer than an hour – Duh
3. Ever tried walking on your hands – I cant
4. Ever been to a rock concert – nahh.
5. Ever been on a cheerleading team – nope
6. Ever been on a dance team - Still in one =3
7. Ever been on a sports team – yeah
8. Ever been in a drama play/production – yeah church play
9. Ever owned a BMW, Mercedes Benz, Escalade, Hummer or Bentley?- I wish
10. Ever been in a rap video?- Nope.

TEN LASTS
1. Last phone call you made – Lockie
2. Last person you hugged – Killer
3. Last person you hung out with – peeps at sawa's chalet
4. Last time you worked – 2 years ago
5. Last person you talked to – cant rmb, havent talked since i woke up
6. Last person you IM’d – duno
7. Last person you texted – Fiera
8. Last person(s) you went to the movies with – minoru
9. Last person/thing you missed – *cough*
10. Last website visited – strife's blog

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Was my last post really that emo? =3= I was merely typing out what i felt at that time mahh. Sudden overflowing of emotions xD

I would say you guys think too much instead. LOL. Sides, i guess i got used to living life that way pretty much. So you guys should get use to me typing like that once in a while too xD

Went to sawa's again on friday. WOOOOOTS. Wii iz the love man. Yay lockie i love yah!! 8DDv Awesome wii iz awesome yoo, we spammed wii for like hours and pretty much slacked alot. Went book fair and i went home. hurhur.

And did i mention that i saw a shuai ge! Like WTFHOMGBBQDESUNE I SAW A SHUAI GE LEI! WE TOOK THE SAME BUS, HE SAT JUST RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME, DROP DOWN AT THE SAME BUSTOP AND WALK SAME ROAD SOMEMORE 8DDv -超high- But then he smokes. Gah such a turnoff DD:

Dont laugh at meh for getting so high just seeing one shuai ge. Gawd la shuai ge in spore extinct liao can. I havent seen one in ages, of course must high. Plus so close contact somemore *smirks*

Of course besides *cough* who's already my perfect one. (My one and only that no one can snatch away from me! -rawr-) Who iz of course to me shuai, smart, can cook, can sew, good in IT, good in everything *fangirl* and everything a girl wanted. The shuai ge iz still more shuai than him =x *get bricked*

Spammed one whole pages of chinese with hoola ytd xDD And still kinda addicted to it nao, just kind lazeh to type right now. So maybe one para

昨天和hooola cafe spam 了一整页的中文，超爽的说。
因为我们俩联合起来对付老爸，围攻他，两面攻击，看他怎么不死。哈哈哈哈。
不过人家hooola怎么说也是个大学生耶，好歹也上过处级学院啊，怎么样也修过高级华文吧，
用中文和她交流难免有些害臊，怕在别人面前丢脸（笑）
我想有空应该多多练习练习我的中文，所以以后我可以好好的秀一秀（大笑）

LOLOL. Enough le bah, lazeh to type >_> Iz tiring to type chinese yo, have to choose characters mah =x Need to focus more, though will not have typo error. LULZ.

Oh yeah, mah hand iz getting better =3 At least not that swollen and not that icthy anymore. Thanks peeps for the concern yo! *insert hearts*

And thank you chiru for the various inside info bout the orientation camp! *winks* Having OGL as friend in same sch iz awesome. NYAHAHHAHA. I rabus joo! 8D So yeah, i'll be going for orientation camp from 15-17. Hope i'll make friends ;A; Haz no friend in SAS. Does not want to emo alone for 3 years. Though i can cop notes from papa or ask him if i dont understand anything *evil smirks*

Alright i guess this update iz long enough yo? Considering the fact i havent update frequently for a long time =x

I have a veryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy long list of animes to clear before i start school. And i meant really longggggggggggggg ;w; Hope i'll have teh time to clear it, else i'll be spamming it in school instead =x Plus the new season animes are nice too *w*

Thats about all. jaja! =3
-because i love *cough* so much >33

2009-04-09T22:48:00.001-07:00

About time i should blog. lol. No im not dead yet, disappointed?
And no i didnt disappear because of what happened in the last post =A= Because right now im typing with only 5 fingers which iz one hand. So dont expect me to update much after this post lolol.

And yeahh, meng accompanied me to get my mp3 serviced 8DD and since i havent met up with him for such a long time~~ he still hasnt changed lol. Doesnt talk much and as crappy as ever xD Its either i grew taller, or he grew shorter 8DD Once again, thanks for accompanying me =33 Hope you receive yr letter soon and join jason xD

And then wed, met up with yuki dar and went to cut mah hair. Then bus-ed to chinatown to get our materials for rin and len 8D Brought the materials and went to look for wigs boots and all for our various cos plans. We iz gonna be really busy soon xDD And then went cityhall and slack. hees

And if you're wondering why im only typing with one hand. My hand got stung by bee. And iz swollen. So yeah, go figure. It's like itchy and painful lurhs, i cant clench my fist T_T You cant imagine how bad iz it, i really want to chop my hand off.

So im disabled now. lulz.

went sawa's chalet ytd. Salcked and slacked, too lazeh to list out details. And because im still mad at papa for throwing his desk of poker cards AT MY FACE. Fuck him, like srsly. Hmpf.

Few of us went to the acrcade later at night. Lockie and broken was playing taiko drums. And both of em look like lunatic xD After that lockie went para para again. Wooooots~~ mah awesome hikari sensei *rabus* And when he was parapara-ing, we saw this familiar looking guy and he turned out to be toasteh~ xDD

went back to play taiko drums again and we turned around and saw yukihoshi =A= Then played taiko together. And suddenly kyon appear. LOL. what iz this man, ytd was sgcafe day. Where random sgcafe ppl will appear out of no where xDD

And i really feel like blogging in chinese. But for some reader sake like zakie and karei, maybe i shouldnt. Oh well, maybe no one even read my blog anyway lol. Because i dont tag em. I do read their blog, just kinda lazeh and duno what to tag. hurhur.

And there's quite a no of stuff that i cant blog bout. More of people's privacy rather than mine. But oh wells.

to fiera: Imma not a sadist! TAT Otaku maybe but iz not sadist~~
to hoola: meh if you're reading this by any chance (which i doubt so) Dont be emo lurh, yr yuu-kun see you like this he'll heartache one~ D:

有时候我觉得自己很假。
可能是应为面具戴太久了吧。
也应为太适应戴这个面具了，久而久之我也不知道真正的自己是真麽样的。
我想是时候找回自己了吧。

我觉得自己很虚伪，很肤浅。
为了某个人，某件事，才回去做一件事情。

很想适应没有他的日子，不过我做不到。
一但有什么事，我第一个就会通知他。
也许依赖他已经成为我的习惯。他，也已经使我的全世界。
而我的世界却不是围绕着他的世界。
也应为没有了他，我真地会死。

有人趁今问过我，为什么我会那么在乎他的言行举止，他的一举一动。
现在我终于了解了。

可是问题是，一个巴掌是拍不响的。
而我也只是单方面的暗恋罢了。
他，也不会知道，也不在乎。

所以我还是乘早死了这条心吧。
不过，我是真的真的，爱上他了。

2009-04-05T21:06:00.000-07:00

It's 1 am now and im not sleeping though im tired. Very tired cause i woke up at 7pm this morning. Then why am i not sleeping?

Im here online asking people if they are available tomorrow to accompany this useless person down to either cityhall or ps to service my mp3. Why? Because i was listening to it perfectly just now. Just when i was about to go to sleep, and want to swtich it off, i unlock the mp3, and the screen went dead.

And then i panicked and went online and consulted papa. So he told me to go and service it and all. Which reminds me what happened to my laptop too.

Why does it always happens to me? First my laptop now my msn on laptop cant sign in, my mp3 next what, my phone? I know i suck at all these IT stuff but kami sama do you have to do this to me?

You think it's fun to go disturb people and ask them stupid questions that one ought to know everytime something happens? No i tell you, it sucks okkay. To feel stupid and inferior and most of all ignorant to everything. It just goes to show that you're just plain useless. Yes i know i do know that I AM USELESS because everyone around me calls me by that name already.

So just because i refuse to acknowledge that i am useless. That i cries at home everynight because of that. Not telling em bout what i feel. That you're doing this to me? what more do you want from me? Just give me to me once and for all. Not only that, curfew became earlier and earlier, allowance lesser and lesser. Endless housework and naggings. Have to endure attitudes from family.

Come on just throw all to me all at a shot. I had enough of these suprises. Im not invincible, i got used to all these shit, i bet i can endure any shit storm that comes to me now.

Hah and this made me realise a thing too. That i have a really pathetic amount of people that are truly my friends. Yeah i do have alot of friends, but well i guess they are just adiquances then. No im not blaming them for not able to make it to accompany tomorrow. Absolutely not. Im serious, dont get me wrong. Well just feeling, lonely. Yet again.

I told papa he wont see me ever again. See if that comes true.

Before that, just wanna say sorreh pa, for always troubling you whenever something happens, or nothing at all. Disturbing your studies and all. Just your luck to have useless daughter like meh. I've never done anything that you can be proud of. No wonder you dont even openly state that im your daughter. Oh well. He's been trying to change me to the kind that 'voices out' instead of keeping things to myself kind of person. But i just cant do it. And i have no idea why. Sorry papa. I guess blogging out is also anotehr way of voicing out?

On a side note, im tired of always watching behind his back. I want to be beside him. But i cant, because i aint worthy. Thus i rather watch him from the back. But then, this is harder than i thought.

All i ever wanted was just a hug from you,
and for you to tell me that everything will be alright when im feeling down.
That difficult?

2009-04-05T00:12:00.001-07:00

Yeah it's high time I should blog. [s]Else people would think that im died or something xD[/s]
So yeah, been living my life more and more like a otaku recently. All i do everyday is go online, watch anime, read manga, find cos pictures, do research on character, lurking in cafe blarh blarh.

Other than that, pretty much nothing xD

Oh did i mentioned i got addicted to downloading manga? =A= Yeah a stupid thing i know. But then, i dont know, im just addicted to download stuff. Cause I like to heard and see new things. So i love downloading songs and pictures =3

Still suffering from toradora withdrawal. Needless to say, but oh well, some new season animes are worth the watch and replacement 8D Like pandora hearts, k-on. Watched abit of queen's blade just now. Lazeh to watch now, cause quite eechi. Im not in the mood now, sleepy ZwZ

Yeah and i found alot of good sites for nice fanarts, wallpapers, cospictures and all. So i kinda abandoned gelbooru for now. Because i got pretty much bored of scanning thru thought hentai fanart everytime i want to find some nice pictures. Tho the fanart there is really nice, but the amount of hentai fanart are wayyyyyyyy more than nice normal fanart >_>

Oh and I've have quite a number of new cos plans now. But lazeh to type out lulz. So yeah, that explains the need to do research. And going out to check out materials for costume D8 My munneh all fly le~~

And I need to start saving up soon. Like really. Im starting today. But i spent 7 buck on pandora hearts before i could do so. Smart me eh?

Trying to finish up clannad, so that i can start on:
skip beat!
sumomomo 5
sayonara zetsubou sensei 2
kuroshitsuji 24
chrome breaker
clannad after story

Oh yeah, my legs and body are like aching quite often nowadays. Im getting old ;AAA; I need to get rid of my bad habit soon. Like really really. Which iz using lappy on my bed sitting down and crouching D: My backbone will be bent soonner or later and my eyesight will get worse cause the lights are off. HAVE TO STOP!

That's pretty much bout all. imma lazeh. Like i said =x And iz downloading manga now. See i told cha =x
so then, ja!

2009-03-29T22:51:00.001-07:00

Finally everything is over 8DDD Being organiser iz tough job yo. Im like dying last night =A= And poof to bed immediately and go to sleep ._.

oh well, imma lazeh to blog out details. See mah mood first xD Iz chiong animes naoz~ =33

Clannad 13
Sumomomo momomo 7

trying to finish these 2 series then im going to chiong to love-ru, macross frontier, mahou sensei negima,code geass, skip beat. LULZ.

And yes i have no life now since toradora end ;A; Mahhh ryuuujiiii~~~~~~ iz still as awesome as ever 8D

2009-03-26T21:21:00.000-07:00

Yesh toradora 25. Nevertheless, it still made me cry ;A;
Well i guess, 世上没有不散的宴席吧。
And reason why Toradora is love is because, its kinda related to my life.
Hees, i love ryuuji =3

OH and yay I just recieved a msg this morning saying that my laptop can be collected! WOOOOTS 8DD
Can webcam with people again 8DD yay eggcited :D

Oh wednesday night the dog kept on barking. And i shiat bricks cause that dog never bark at strangers, and usually dont even bark. And now it bark in the middle of the night, 1pm plus z_z And i was sms-ing papa. So i told him, gawd. The dog see ghost is it? Then im like scared le .__.

You guys heard of this idiom/proverb/ whatever?
平时不做亏心事，半夜不怕鬼敲门。

My smart ass papa translated to this " Normal time dun do anything that will lose ur heart, half night not scared ghost knock door" Smart horh. No wonder he fail his english and i wonder how he got into nus =A= Yeah he told me that when i say i scared -.- I took 5 second to figure what i meant =w=

Mehhh. Im like so pissed last night. Was searching for ryuuji's picture online. But you bias creatures only love taiga! Her pictures are everywhere! But not even one single shot for ryuuji/ fanart. Gahhh, no love for ryuuji? Nevermind I'll love him myself -grins-

Yeh know, there's something in this world that no one has ever seen before.
Something that is kind and sweet.
Maybe if it could be seen, everyone would be fighting over it
Thats why no one has ever seen it.
The world hides so that no one can get their hands on it easily.
However, someday someone will find it.
The person who deserve it the most will defitnitly find it.

Yesh im still crazy over someone but nah dont worry i dont do anything.
I'll just watch over him like how i always do.

2009-03-22T23:23:00.000-07:00

Gah, because stupid blogger at up some of my post in the previous post, so im posting this again.
Cause it's important to me, though the person in question wont even read it =x

Now i just want to make people happy that's it.
I'll be happy if he's happy :3

And yes it's because im gulity for what i've done. For always been mad at him for stupid minor reasons ): And then venting all my anger at him, thinking that im just irritating to him.

Thinking he doesnt care about me cause he always gives me those one word answer, /ignoring me always and plenty of other stuff that i got angry at. Too much to mention.

And i dont know what i've been blinded by, to not see that, he actually do cares for me. Well, in his way and definition of care and concern, that is.

Im really sorry ): Even though i know you wont see this but still im gonna say it.
Sorry ):

Gah, im so stupid to realise this so late.
If he doesnt care about me, would be even bother replying my messages even though its just a word? He could have chose not to reply.
If he doesnt care about me, would he even pick up my call when im not even saying a word?
If he doesnt care about me, he would have hung up and wont even stood by me, when im just crying and not saying word.
If he doesnt care about me, he wont even bother picking up my call when he have plenty of work to do. Just because i have to walk a long way home, and thus i called him for entertainment.
If he doesnt care about me, he wont even bothered to tell me those stories of his, which have never failed to motivate me.
If he doesnt care about me, he wont even bother to disturb me or laugh at me when i do something stupid.

And plenty plenty much more, alot more, that i think i'll turn dark if i were to list them all out.

And because you guys wont know who he is, and he wont read this either.

SUKI DA YO =3

And like i said, I love ryuuji so much that i cant live without him.
Well there's another meaning to that sentence, but because you guys wont know 8D
im taiga who cant live without ryuuji.
8DD

ryuuji wa suki~ SUKI~ DAISUKI!!

2009-03-21T00:52:00.000-07:00

[edited]
That girl in the picture is me and not taiga :3
Because I love ryuuji so much, and i swear i cant live without him.
And nah, you wont get what i meant :x

Just watched toradora 24, cried again ;A;
I think my characteristic is just like taiga meh.
She kept running away, denying everything, when the people around her already knew.
She's got quite a screwed family.
Keeping things to herself.

And because im not like minorin, who can gave him up just because she wants him to be happy.

Blarh, but im not like taiga too, cause she got her happiness. I dont.

Man im screwed. Bio clock is all hay-wired DD:

Got woke up my phone alarm yesterday. Got a shock =A= True my heart is not a song for alarm. LULZ. And then i saw 2 miss call and a msg from jiejie on my phone, then went to call him with my half awake voice and brain. XD
Sorry jie!! For making you wait at the mrt station for me knowing I'll be late =x *hugs*

LOL, I overslept because the night before I was using mah lappy webcam-ing with jiejie xD And msn convo with killer, mass convo with lockie tsuki invinc kosmox lol.
And got so pissed off cause the wireless connection sucks to the extent that i dc every 10 second ._.

So i went to sleep around 1 plus. But was so stuffy that i toss and turn till I have no idea what time till i slept.

Went art friend with jiejie to get his stuff for his armour and all, then met up with daddeh and ah ma. Went around pennisular to look for her drums. Walk walk walk, look around, talk cock. Then went to funan to service my lappy. Yay for internet connections there thats why time passed by so fast~ And the MIlk tea there tasted liek milo OwO

*Prays that my lappy will be ready in 2-3 days instead of 2-3 weeks liek ah ma said ;A;*

Then killer came, and jiejie went home xD Went parklane and continued looking around for drums. Then went acrade after that and played pool. Woooots~~ It's been long since i played xD And i lost my skills T_T Taught killer how to play and he did so much better than me. reminded me of how i used to surpass peijuan too >D

Played till around 5 plus then went ps to get some stuff. Then killer daddeh and ah ma went home and i went to gramps place to eat. Then went home to bathe and go off to youth bbq~

It's fun cause some biatch is not there 8DD And if you're suprise that i went, well i have nothing to do. And with regards of what i said before, that my church haz hypocrite ppl, well its just a few black sheeps la. So yeah. Did have fun there. Because they say that im not a lian 8DD Compare to the biatch, obviously im so happy ^w^V

But my leg hurts from playing pepsi cola 123 xD blarh blarh packed up and went home. Jo and joceyln refused to listen to me, who lived in the area, that bus 22 doesnt go to inter and goes amk, they ran and board the bus. And i have to call them and ask them to get down and meet me at the next busstop.

It's either im too kind or stupid, i walked 3 busstops and i dont see a single soul in sight. I called them and they said they cross the road and boarded other bus to get home. BUT THEY DIDNT TELL ME =w= Great. So i walked 3 busstops for nothing and ran pass a cockroach somemore.

Thank god i have papa to pei me on the phone. lolol. He's as crappy as ever, too lazy to type out what he said and what i did =x

Then went home watched tv and went to sleep. Woke up at around 12 today and slacking in front of comp naw bored D8

2009-03-18T17:40:00.000-07:00

It's like 8.44 am now and im awake, well not full but still awake. And i didnt know if i slept last night anot. Very zombified now >_> But gah, I have my reason to be here.

Checking if my laptop's fine anot, and since it turned out fine so im here lorh lulz. Have no idea what's up with my laptop. The previous night was surfing cafe and updating itunes software then it just suddenly hanged x_x Then called papa and asked and got scolded stupid for not knowing how to open the battery ;A; But after 2 hrs my lappy's fine again.

Then yesterday brought it for dance, it was perfectly fine. But then when we were at food court then suddenly it cant work again. Same thing happen again, lappy screen shows nothing and scroll lock indicator kept blinking. Anyone knows what's wrong? @_@

Before my own music put me back to sleep cause im still on bed, just using lappy blogging and listening to my music. Which i have no idea why which always give me a sense of peace and able to put me to sleep xD

My real reason to here. Thank everyone in my life ;3 yeah you heard me, abit insane lurh but I did once mention in the previous before that im going to do it and here i am now =]

Im very grateful and thankful for god for giving me such wonderful parents. Yeah you heard me correct, parent. Duh obviously not my real parents. My papa and mummeh. Hehs, they're like my real parent. One is stern with me and wants me to learn my own stuff and grow up. One spoonsfeed me everything and helps me out if he can. Both fits in the mummeh and papa's role perfectly xD Go figure who's the stern one and who's the nice one. Pretty much easy if you know em ;3 I love you papa and mummeh <33

And then karei, i srsly lost count of how many times she's help me picked myself up. She's always there for me. I rabus you loads dar~ Thank you for everything, i meant it, everything. <33 Words cant describe now much im indebted to you srsly.

Killer!! Gawd my adorable soulmate. Who haz a amazing affinity with me. I'll never forget that walk in the rain 8D I betcha his future gf will be so jealous! >D Thank you my dear, for always able to cheer me up no matter when and how, when im angry and sad. I love yah <33 for always able to tell that im not excatly in the best of mood and there beside me always, always, even without saying a word.

Minoru, partners will be partners for life. That fella uh, lol. As mentioned, we're partners ma, so we always have much stuffs in common, well not quite sure about now cause he's kinda busy with his stuff. But then im still glad that last night he'll always call me when he feels sad and cry over the phone. My dear i dont mind giving you virtual tissues and all as long as you're fine and happy okkay? I dont know if you still rmbed but I do. You called in the middle of the night and then cried and i accompanied you till 2 plus xD You srsly got me so worried la. Haiyos <3

Sushi dar! lolol, she's always so hilarious lurhs. And bleah, thank you for lending me your stuffs xD And please do not dig your ear so often! Take care of yrself even though i know you're busy with fyps and work. Must eat horh, i do eat lunch now occasionally so you must eat also! ;3

Yuki dar! My cute cute bishie len who's a awesome cosplayer and tailor . yesh i cant wait for our photoshoot. First cosplay with you 8DD Thanks for accompanying me to reservior when seths ps-ed me xD And always popping to yr house, tcss and gossip like no tml. hees <3

Seth, who i have no idea how the helll in the first place he became my master =A= Despite seeing us bickering and quarelling so often. He'll always know if im alright just from the way i reply him. But sometimes he interpricted wrongly. Or rather, loads of time. Resulting in asking me everything he phones me 'You okkay not, so emo' xD Im just sleepy la =w= I rmb-ed he use to call me everyday after he book out from camp. Then tcss. So irritating, lol. kidding lurhs. And the skating trip and study trip. lulz.

Enqi dear~ Who always ask me to be happy but she herself is not :/ Dear ahh, stop thinking bout ___ le okkay? I've told you many times and still telling you, you deserve someone better. And we should srsly go out some day la! It's been like so long since we go shoppingle? DD; Miss you! and rabus you for always tellign me to be happy ;3

Ryuko!! Hees, cute chibi :x And whenever she comes to my blog she always tell me to cheer up xD Ehh i want to read yr blog soon so invite me kays~

Zakie, that emo fella. I have no idea now he is now cause he's rarely online now ): and dont update his blog. Gah, i miss him. And you guys should see how we talk to each other when we're emo. We just say everyone should die. And he did once told me everyone in the world should just die. And i replied, me too? ): And he said yah. Without hesitation. OwO But the conversationjust go on nonstop xD

Kiriko! For always gossiping with me and looking guys xD So sorry about valentines! Im available next year! But must book me early horh! Cause i iz in hot demand 8DD Thank you for the always fail study trip last time xD

Lockie! My awesome wonderful hikari sensei which im fangirl-ing currently. Meh he's so cute la liek srsly. I think he's gonna be my next eyecandy 8D Back to topic, when i thought of lockie only keroro comes to my mind. But what i rmb most significantly was that day at ecp fliming. I just asked if he had a plaster and he was like "What happened? you okkay?" With that very concern look in his face machim i got into car accident liddat xD fyi. i needed a plaser cause i haz blister due to new shoe xD

tsuki and huney, hee, that adorable 2 raburabu couple. Who always kena make fun by us. Tsuki ah! eat yr veggies horh! And huney~ he rabu rabus youuu load for using reisen xD

sawa and broken, yesh i love sawa, for sawa. Some stuff cant be said here :P and broken, for being broken. That weird dude who has pms xD

As you can see my paragraphs are like getting shorter and shorter, not that im have nothing to write. Just that im lazy and flu strikes back >_> so i think i shall just list out the names. But no worries gaiz, you're still equally loved by yuchi :33

daddeh; kosmox; rein; invinc; tenma; kirara; akatsuki; carmen; kyo; haru; kei; wenli; tim; flan twinneh; chiru other half; moron; lawliet; sochii; himura ahma; jon; cutepetz; claude; teddy; clar; yuki; shiroro; rinya; setsuru; rinya; rayray; hayate; midnite; bobo; fiera; wayne; yubin; stan; minn; sandwich; tsugumi.;baka; holyfinx; cero; benJ; yukino; shaft; xsakura; yang; jo; mo; suki; yukime; chris; mel; roy; bryan; lauren; flozen; gackt; kuroi; kzf; hito; cagey; ash; pinky; ash; zelmie; ayu; ratix0; ex14; chidea; tsuyin; chanel; losse; dedrick; loveshadow; dingo; kani; kurosawa; wallance; lucify; mishi; miya; saku; vector shifu; lordjarken; Angelzhou; neez; negi jiejie; rei daughter; elle, fynn; lolipop

about all for now, leg aching le and wants to sleep z________z see yeah guys, rabu rabu! <33

2009-03-16T21:49:00.001-07:00

Oh btw did i mentioned that i saw wallance at suntec the other day? Meh i miss him forcing me to eat if not he'll turn mad ): Hope you're doing fine my dear <3

And just saturday i saw icy when karei was para para-ing. I was like. *stare* You look familiar, MY GOSH ICY IT'S BEEN SO LONG LA! Then went to hi-5 and hug xDD I shouted to lockie too. The rest didnt know cause they were outside playing psp =A=

Gah i miss icy, like suddenly so many old forumers all dissapeared ;A; Then comes a bunch of nubfags for us to settle. Their stupidity is beyond word's description D:

Im bored >/ I shall go off to spam my animes then~

突然覺得我們心裡距離比在地球和時間上的距離還大
為甚麼我那麼不開心

我這一生是不是注定做他人的隱形人

總是覺得很透明
為甚麼表示出這麼多感情關心
每次都是那個人無法看見

或許我錯了
我根本就不適合談戀愛吧
表面上看起來不錯而已
裡面大概全部是一團糟

愛好複雜
我不知道甚麼是對和錯了

累了。

2009-03-15T21:40:00.000-07:00

It's about time i blog xD Have been very lazeh to update recently >_> Prolly cause i have quite alot of stuff on my hand waiting for me to complete xD

And i wont be blogging in detail, just summarising stuff and all, yeah ;3

So friday went to karei's to bake papa's cake. Huney and i bake the cupcakes, and i threw ALOT of chocolate chips inside. I swear. ALOT. Around 10 handful? =x Then slacked around, talk cock blarh and then went off.

Saturday, met up with karei first and pass her teh cupcakes. She was late, lol then saw broken sawa tsuki and huney so we went off tgt. Late of course, poor papa xD IT fair makes me very mad, with people shouting and squeesing in the hall, trampling your feet. I literally was very pissed off, trust me.

But then when we went up level 6 i begin to trample on ppl's feet on purpose for revenge i felt so much better 8DDD they went sky garden and acrade later when me and karei went to pick up the cake. They didnt know of course xD and got pissed off again. Suntec area was frigging crowded. I cant rmb how many times i shouted fuck off =x

When to suprise papa when we're done with all those squeezing and stuff. But he outsmart us =A= cause he saw rein and karei's reflection lol. Then celebrated there, tcss and slacked and we went off to douhby ghuat. PARA PARA! Gawd lockie's awesome, im totally on fangirl mode can?!!? AHHHH *rabu rabu*~~!

After that went off with fiera, cause he haz duty lol. Went home, online till 12 plus cause iz leeching wireless from ppl xD then went to update some stuff lo~ so slept at 12 plus and woke up at 7 plus for church next day z__z

Sunday went nus open house, then went nom nom with invinc nako and mummeh, met kosmo halfway. lol. Went acarde. And i think jubeat's fun. Gawd imma not xmm pl0x ;A; went off to find icecream but dont have T_T me wants icecreammmmmmm~

And now im awake, after sleeping for more than 12 hours and it rained >D But my leg is aching after sat and sunday =A= Im getting old soon le ;A;

Oh and my sister cooked chaota hotdog and bread for me. LMAO.

kurokami and maria holic latest epi's out, off to watch. JA~

2009-03-14T08:11:00.000-07:00

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOTS~~
Imma on mah lappy now use wireless~~ iz so happy la HOMGWTFBBQDESUNE~~
wheeeeeeeeeeeees~~

need wirelesss TAT if not life iz so boring using desktop.
gahh so pissed cause the new msn is like taking forever to dl -.-
oh well bobian cause i iz leeching wireless =x

iz lazy to update naos, shall update some other day. muahhahah xDD

see yeah gaiz.ciaoooosu~~

btw, HAPPY BIRTHDAY PAPA.
thanks for everything ; though u always make me so mad =A=
<3>

2009-03-10T22:27:00.000-07:00

Thank you papa, karei and fiera for knocking some sense into me <3
papa told me to communicate more instead of keeping things to myself.
karei says perhaps she dont understand.
fiera says that being independent is good but have to know when to ask for help.

haha, thanks guys ;3

Honestly speaking, Im think im becoming more and more introvert =A= Yes i do know i have tons of friend, i swear, more than one could ever made in his or her life at my age. But then i dont really ask em for help much.

Oh wells, enough of those stuff. Im not gonna say what happen. Just keep it within those who know.

and, im sorry papa for disturbing you ><

Im thinking im abit of brain dead to blog now, i dont even know what im doing online -.-

i only know i have quite a no of stuff to do

-cpf thing for sch
-online warranty
-****
-****

**** is stuff that i cannot say here since it's public blog and someone might read my post =33

so yeah im off for now lol.

2009-03-08T21:38:00.001-07:00

Blarh, i finally broke down ytd. >__> Not emotional breakdown, more of stress & panic =A=
And so this is what happened.

Was using the computer, after persuading sister i need to use cause i need to get some stuff done. Checking the laptop stuff, enrollment stuff and all. Then read read read untill my brain couldnt take it, still reading and asking some people online.

Only on sentence got into me all payment by nets. I was like, wtf? Me no nets sia, then duno dad have anot, then i thought of kosmox, wanted to ask him, but he kept on playing game. Then might not be able to go down with me cause he got sch. Then panic liao ;A;

then seth come cock with me say want to ramen, killer ask me got chiobu friend not. Plus not only i have enrollment stuff to do, need to see the laptop thingy, papa's stuff and dar's which gave me alot of headaches too ._. Im getting more and more convos on msn and the more i talk the more i panic. So my mind's pretty blank then, sorry peeps.

And thus i figured i'll be better if i go offline. Thus returning the comp to her, cause i think i use over my time too. Called miinn, asked about stuff and all, she mention what singpass and all i also didnt register or what, all the more i panic.

Then went to my dad's room and ask if he got nets not. He asked me what's nets. I dont know how to explain cause im not sure sure what it is too.

papa's not online, kosmox playing game, karei got meeting, the rest duno do what, i dont wanna disturb ppl, thus i went to my room, lay on my bed and cried till i went to sleep >_>

and when i woke up my dad said he got 2 card for nets. Meant i cried for nth? =A=

Enough of that, if you dont get what i meant its okkay, cause im like not awake now. Sleepy z_____z Woke up at 10 plus this morning then went back to sleep cause its early, then woke up at 12 again in shock cause im afraid im late to meet them :/ Plus rain somemore, so i dragged myself outta bed in case i sleep and never wake up in time =x

and so now here i am ._. checking out some stuff and ranting to some people about some hypocrite and stupid people which is not even worth mentioning ;3

So to sum up i broke down cause it accumilated since friday, sat till ytd. lol. Sat was crap, pure crap. Im already mad cause kosmox was late, but nvm, went to meet papa. He gave me the same attitude again. freak, i owe him money is it? He just kept slience and walk and give me those kind of looks. Even when i went into a shop he just walk away, then when i talk to him he just laugh it off or give some short answers.

I swear i almost cried outside the arcarde. But i dont see the point. zzzzzzz. I swear he's having pms. rawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwr. Dont wanna talk about it la, the more i mention the more angry i am zzzzzzz

slack at esplanade dance then went to dinner. JUST NOODLES~ awesomeeee, i miss those times. hurhur. And i made imba drink. Nyahahahhahaha >D

and karei asked this question and i think its pretty true. What will you do if there's no ___?
I said i'll die. HAHA, actually i cop that from the korean drama. But i think its true though, i'll die without him ); wont tell you who. HAHHAA.

as you can see im still typing nonsense so jaa~

im falling deeper and deeper ><
<3333333

2009-03-05T21:27:00.001-08:00

This post is gonna be a huge contridiction to what i posted in the previous post. Read it if you want, i dont really care. As if people still cares anyway.

I've always been obey your words, whatever you've said since young. No matter what. Did I ever go against your word? No, I did not. So why is it that I cannot even do what I want? WHY IS IT ALWAYS ME ME ME ME? HAVE YOU PEOPLE EVER SPARED A THOUGHT FOR ME? IT'S ALWAYS ABOUT YOU PEOPLE.

You guys have company for the night, thus threw me some money and abandoned me for dinner, and go out to enjoy and have fun, leaving me all alone in this house. Fine then, i kept slience.

You guys ALWAYS throw the house work to me. Washing the dish, mopping the floor, sweeping the floor, hang out the clothes, boil the water, tidy up the living room the room the house. EVERYTHING. Kay fine im having a holiday now. I do everything.

You guys only fucking treated me like a maid, im only called when im needed and when im not needed just casted aside. You guys ever called me when you all have nice stuff to share and all? One talks to me when need help with reading msgs and getting stuff, the other one talks to me only when doesnt know how to spell a particular word or enquire about where to get particular product and all.

AND THEN YOU. YOU FCUKING BIAS CREATURE. Since young untill now. I know I've always stick to mum since young and thus when she passed away Im not close to anyone. Not you. Just because she's the one sticking to you since young you always treated her differently. You said you treat us equally. HELL RIGHT MAN.

Equally when she can go out till late at night and you didnt say anything. When im home only slightly after 11 you started throwing dirty looks at me and shout at me. When i was pri 5 you didnt allowed me to go for NDP, but when she was pri 5 you allowed her to. You dont allow me to stay over at friend's chalet for just A NIGHT and yet you allowed her to GO OVER SEAS FOR A WEEK.

You said you divided the housework equally amongst us. BUT YOU HAVE FUCKIGN NO IDEA IM THE ONE DOING ALL THE WORK. Saturday, she wakes up, watch tv, eats her breakfast and then prepares to go out. WHERE ME. I have to wake up 3 hours before my meeting time, sweep the floor, mop the floor, drag teh fucking big pail of water to the toilet and pour it away, hang out the clothes or get it in when its dry then fold teh clothes accordingly and sort it out and put in the room for both of you, before i can eat, bathe, and then prepare to go out.

You always scolded me when i watch my animes, then proceed to switch the channel and watch yr stuff. Okkay fine. fine. You gave me only 3 dollars per day and 5 to her per day cause im having holiday now. fine.

YOU. YOU'RE ALWAYS DOING THINGS ACCORDING TO YR OWN WILL. HAVE YOU EVER ASKED ME BEFORE HAND BEFORE DOING ANYTHING? NO NO. YOU DONT FUCKIGN EVEN BOTHER TO ASK HOW I FEEL ABOUT THE MATTER.

You brought me to councilling when i was in primary 5 and 6, and i went there every saturday untill i was secondary 1. FCUKGIN SHIAT, I didnt even do anything wrong, why do i have to be sent to counsilling. And the people there says im rebellious. DUH OBVIOUSLY RIGHT? WHEN YOU DIDNT EVEN DO ANYTHING WRONG AND YOU GET SENT FOR COUNSILLING FOR BAD BEHAVIOUR.

YOU CALL COMING BACK HOME RIGHT AFTER SCHOOL EVERYDAY AND FINISHES YOUR HOMEWORK BEFORE ALL YR OTHER PEERS DID BAD BEHAVIOUR? YOU CALL NOT GETTING TO GO OUT DURING TEH WEEKEND AND STAY AT HOME TO ROT BAD BEHAVIOUR?

fine by me then.

Then you sent me to church. Not that im dissatisified now, that I HAVE FUCKING HYPOCRITE PEOPLE THERE TO DEAL WITH, HAVE TO PUT UP A FAKE SMILE AND FAKE SELF EVERY SUNDAY. But i gotten used to it. Before before everything. DID YOU ASKED ME IF I WANTED TO GO? You insisted me on going because "SUNDAY STAY AT HOME AND ALWAYS WATCH TV FOR WHAT? "

Then secondary school choice, you asked me to go to the shit sch just because its near. You never even asked me WHERE I WANT TO GO. And then i suffered 4 yrs in school. Did i ever complaint to you? NO.

And then i thought finally it's over at least i can DO SOMETHING I WANT. Choosing of school. You said you want me to go tp because its near. THEN I HAVE TO FCUKGIN REARRANGE ALL MY ORDER OF CHOICE OF SCHOOL JUST BECAUSE YOU SAID RIDICULOUS STUFF LIKE " What if the first one you get in no lei?" then continued to the second third choice. Thus I CHANGED ALL THE FIRST 5 CHOICES TO COURSE IN TP. HAPPY?

And then you said you wanna get a gf to take care of the house work and you and us. okkay fine, i said i dotn like fucking cheena, but then i said fine to you that yr gf's a cheena. I SAID FINE. FINE ALREADY WHAT ELSE DO YOU WANT?

After EVERYTHING. EVERYTHING THAT I'VE ENDURED. And i only asked, politely and all. I didnt even raised my voice. That if i could dye my hair to brown. I didnt even say i want to bleach it. It's just brown. BROWN FOR GOD SAKE. And you say why do all those stupid stuff, say that im didnt go and get a job and now i want to do all these stuff. HELLO? I ONLY ASKED OKKAY? IF YOU DONT AGREE THAN FINE! DO YOU HAVE TO ALWAYS DIG OUT THE FACT THAT I DONT HAVE A JOB? HELLO. ITS RECESSION, YOU THINK PEOPLE WOULD HIRE SO EASILY WHEN IM ONLY A SEC SCH GRAD?

WHY WHY WHY. AFTER EVERYTHING. EVERYTHING. IT'S ALWAYS ME ME ME THAT HAVE TO ENDURE ALL THESE SHIT. I HAVE FUCKIGN ENOUGH OF THESE FUCKIGN PEOPLE IN THIS FUCKING HOUSE.

I need a break. Seriously.

Sorry for the vulgarities and stuff guys. Im really on the verge of breaking, pretty soon. I dont know how much i can put up with these. I know, i know i should be contented with the stuff i have now. I have a home, i have a place to live in, at least i get a fucking 3 dollar allowance everyday, i get computer.

BUT WHY THE HELL ALL THESE ARE ALL MATERIALISTIC STUFF. The house is just a place for me to eat and sleep, i get nothing here. I cant even confide in the people in the house. I dread coming home when in out. Why? Because i get nothing. Well i have nothing to begin with.

Master says i need to get a uke. Because im a seme. I dont get it, im fucking tired of putting up a strong front in front of people. Im tired of wearing a mask.

I admire soulmate, because i cant be like him. He has a huge mask that until now, i cant help him to take it down. And im partner with partner because im like him, im always wearing a mask and is tired of it. Perhaps he's gotten rid of his now. Im not very sure when i'll get mine down.

2009-03-03T21:41:00.000-08:00

Yeh know i've always had this strange affilation with rivers since young. I'll alway seems to be at a peaceful state whenever i see river. Thats why Im going to bedok reservior later, with master; aka and dar.

Need it srsly. If not I think I'll die, havent really seen river for months i think. The last time was at ecp. And ever since I've quit canoe-ing, I havent really been in contact with water. Stupid right? Reservior really aint river but still, i guess i still love it ;3

I suddenly miss my mum the night before. And thus i was thinking what will I become if she havent pass away. I think i wont even be meeting those dear people im hanging out so often with now. I'll be a much more demure girl and always stay at home and study. Oh well, fate does play with people.

Im sorry karei, she told me once to just let go of it. Stop being sad whenever I thought of my mum. Well i did tried. But then, the reason why i always felt sad whenever i thought of her was because I felt gulity, for because she pass on, I've never done anything for her, nor did I do anything to do her proud.

No, im not typing these to gain sympathy or what. I doubt anyone will read this anyway. Just, I..Im stupidly deprived of parental love. Damn me yes.

My dad suddenly popped out when im watching korean drama, and said he found a new girlfriend. And I was like ' yeah okkay. Aiya later la i want to watch this first' But then he keep on going and going saying I cant keep on stereotyping cheena, cause there're definitely good cheena people. Then saying he'll need company cause eventually both my sister and I will get married and he'll be left alone.

I just kept on answering. uhm. uhm, orh. okkay. Pretending im not listening and focusing on the drama instead. But then i took every sentence he said to heart and kept on pondering about it for the rest of teh night. He'll prolly never ever read this but still. Im sorry dad, im sorry for not able to communicate well with out, I've never been that kinda of person who verbally cares for the family and such. But still, I want to say that I love you and Im sorry for not being a daughter that you want me to be.

Har. You know I've always envy those family who has very very strong bondings and always display their love to each other openly. Who can talk to their parents about their problems openly. Meh, the grass is always greener on the other side i guess.

Im crying now and i cried last night, watching the last episode of 随时奉命; then I've learnt something. I've always taken the people around me, the things i have for granted. It's well time I treasure those stuff because I have a strong feeling all these are gonna be taken away from me very soon.

Kenshin returned our postcounts. Im have custom tittle and haz 21k post count now. But im not happy. Why? Because I have a strong feeling cafe might not last for long. It'll close down soon. And im not spamming on cafe now anymore and lurking more instead because for fear that what i fear might come sooner than expected.

Funny huh? Regretting now after all i've done.

Before i go off and finish off my moyashimon, I love all you guys, from the bottom of my heart. Really, I may not be listing down names now cause Im quite busy with stuff but still, yes i mean everyone of you, those that i know, and have talked to me before, even those hi bye friends. For you guys made a different in my life. And i thank god for knowing you people <3

Let me tell you all a story;

One day, when I was a freshman in high school,
I saw a kid from my class was walking home from school.
His name was Kyle.

It looked like he was carrying all of his books.
I thought to myself, 'Why would anyone bring home all his books on a Friday?
He must really be a nerd.'

I had quite a weekend planned (parties and a football game with my friends tomorrow afternoon), so I shrugged my shoulders and went on.

As I was walking, I saw a bunch of kids running toward him.

They ran at him, knocking all his books out of his arms and tripping him so he landed in the dirt.

His glasses went flying, and I saw them land in the grass about ten feet from him...
He looked up and I saw this terrible sadness in his eyes
My heart went out to him. So, I jogged over to him as he crawled around looking for his glasses, and I saw a tear in his eye.

As I handed him his glasses, I said, 'Those guys are jerks.'
They really should get lives.
' He looked at me and said, 'Hey thanks!'

There was a big smile on his face.

It was one of those smiles that showed real gratitude.

I helped him pick up his books, and asked him where he lived.
As it turned out, he lived near me, so I asked him why I had never seen him before..
He said he had gone to private school before now.

I would have never hung out with a private school kid before.

We talked all the way home, and I carried some of his books.
He turned out to be a pretty cool kid.
I asked him if he wanted to play a little football
with my friends

He said yes.

We hung out all weekend and the more I got to know Kyle, the more I liked him, and my friends thought the same of him.

Monday morning came, and there was Kyle with the huge stack of books again.

I stopped him and said, 'Boy, you are gonna really build some serious muscles with this pile of books everyday!
' He just laughed and handed me half the books.

Over the next four years, Kyle and I became best friends..

When we were seniors we began to think about college.
Kyle decided on Georgetown and I was going to Duke.

I knew that we would always be friends, that the miles would never
be a problem.

He was going to be a doctor and I was going for business on a football scholarship..

Kyle was valedictorian of our class.
I teased him all the time about being a nerd.
He had to prepare a speech for graduation.
I was so glad it wasn't me having to get up there and speak

Graduation day, I saw Kyle.

He looked great.

He was one of those guys that really found himself during high school.
He filled out and actually looked good in glasses.
He had more dates than I had and all the girls loved him.

Boy, sometimes I was jealous!

Today was one of those days.
I could see that he was nervous about his speech.
So, I smacked him on the back and said, 'Hey, big guy, you'll be great!'
He looked at me with one of those looks (the really grateful one) and smiled.
' Thanks,' he said.

As he started his speech, he cleared his throat, and began

'Graduation is a time to thank those who helped you make it through those tough years.
Your parents, your teachers, your siblings, maybe a coach...but mostly your friends....

I am here to tell all of you that being a friend to someone is the best gift you can give them.

I am going to tell you a story.'

I just looked at my friend with disbelief as he told the
first day we met.

He had planned to kill himself over the weekend.
He talked of how he had cleaned out his locker so his Mom wouldn't have to do it later and was carrying his stuff home.
He looked hard at me and gave me a little smile.

'Thankfully, I was saved.

My friend saved me from doing the unspeakable..'
I heard the gasp go through the crowd as this handsome, popular boy told us all about his weakest moment.
I saw his Mom and dad looking at me and smiling that same grateful smile.

Not until that moment did I realize it's depth.

Never underestimate the power of your actions..

With one small gesture you can change a person's life.

For better or for worse.

God puts us all in each others lives to impact one another in some way.

Look for God in others.

'Friends are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.'

There is no beginning or end.. Yesterday is history.

;3 Be contented today

2009-03-03T00:41:00.000-08:00

Watched toradora special today 8DDD AWESOME-NESS CAUSE CHIBIS FTWFTWFTWFTWFTW 8D
I found my weakness, MOE-NESS. I'll totally go GAGA over moe stuff. Moyashimon, chibis chars. Blarh blarh. GOSH, im becoming more and more girl >_> Needs to find back my crossdress self =xx

But then there's also the bad part. I think i drew too much of chibis that now i dont know how to draw a normal face ~.~ Its like, SHIT. I cant draw a normal character. Shit, phails GAHHHHHHHHH. =A=

BUT WAIT. Have i draw a normal face before? *ponder* Cant recall, but i doubt so *sulks* Maybe im meant for drawing chibis~ lolol.

Woke up at 1 plus today, BECAUSE IM HUNGRY. Thus woke up and cooked maggie and went online. If not I'll continue sleeping cause the weather's like perfect for sleeping DD;

OH! I was like chatting with zelmie last night. I havent really seen him around recently. And lol, i found out he's an architecture ._. Suprised ehh? I didnt really guessed it though. LULZ. Anyway, zelmie's still as cute as ever 8D

Chatting with killer now. Sometimes talking to him can be suicidal man. Srsly. LOL. He's planning to do some masked char AGAIN. And then i recall last year's cosfest. Daddeh totally refused to let him use that monitor cause there's like broken glass inside. LOL. And i wore the monitor for a good half hour too, walking around with him buying artwork and stuff. And i swear i almost died. It's like stuffy and plus it's heavy and stuff x_x

Btw, im pretty much done with karei's card. Now left with papa's =A= I dont want to draw a ___ It's like, un appealing. And turns me off. But oh well, he loves it so yeah. BLARH. And he refuses to admit when his birthday is. I kinda know but not confirm cause he says no =A= So yeah, need to steal ezlink to double check xD

I think i should totally liek draw smth everyday, i have so much time on my hand ;A; Then i can liek sell it during events or smth and earn a few buck. HAHA, nah just kidding >_>

2009-03-01T22:41:00.000-08:00

Im feeling shitty cause of some frigging bastard.
FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU.
I DONT WANT TO TALK TO YOU EVER AGAIN.
):

And some idiot went to use my name and tag on daddy's blog =w=
Firstly, EVERYONE knows I dont online after 10.
Secondly, though im that close as before to daddeh, i have no reason to call her a idiot cause i still love her because she's mah daddeh and for all those stuff she did for me before <3
Thus, get a life man, i dont care bout juu 8D

Updates:
Kuroshitsuji 21
Kurokami 9
Maria holic 9
Toradora 21
Zoku Natusme Yuujinchou 10

Thats for on going series, there's alot of finished series that im still watching, like princesss princess, kodomo no jikan, MOYASHIMON! LOL. fucking cute 8D AWESOME-NESSS ~ AND I CHIONG-ED SUZUMIYAH HARUHI-CHAN NO YUUTSU EPI 2-6 all the way when i just woke up. AWESOME-NESS. Nagato pwnz all man! 8DD

Btw, daddeh asked why i not working lol. Im procastinating again and again and again, saw quite alot of job notices being put up when im out in town and such, but the thing is NO ONE WORK WITH MEH ;A; Yeah imma a kiddeh that wants people to go work with her. *sob sob* Im seriously broke now thus not going out for 2 weeks. BLARH. I still owe my sister monneh for the tops >_>

And i still have to save up for somepeople's birthday. GAHHHH. Broke broke broke, wait. Maybe i shouldnt even care at all. Okkay set i dont care. He doesnt care so WHY SHOULD I? Bloody waste of my precious time which i can use to finish up my series. HUMPF.

“有些人存心想让你难过，但也有人因为你的难过而感到难过。”

2009-03-01T00:34:00.001-08:00

You have had it once,
But you lost it eventually.
Secretly you wished for attention,
Yet no one will be there for you.
No one at all.
Loneliness; Emptiness, is what's left behind.
Wondering in the darkness,
when will you be able to find the light?

& you said , all the world was dreaming
You said all the world was scheming without you
Without you , but you'll never know

Such a mess I see inside but that's because you're here
By my side , don't you know?

ずっと、このまま
ま、じゃね。たぶん。
わからないよ。

黑色谎言，白色幽默。

2009-02-27T23:23:00.001-08:00

Went sawa's place yesterday for mishi's birthday celebration 8D Before that went kaimono with mah sister at bugis, my moneh flew away ;A; I brought 2 top and a tanktop for my oshare. I only left with the shoes for my oshare now. GAH. Haz no shoes to match ;w;

Oh and. TUNA CAKE IZ AWESOME MAN!! 8DD *nomnomom* Pictures with beffy, waiting for her to upload. Then went to newly open foodcourt to have dinner. kway zhap. LULZ. Whatever you spell it, its good la. For someone who swear not to eat kuay zhap ever again xD

After that took group peekture~ And then went to play catching xDD Meh imma getting old already >_> Im already panting after a few rounds. Need to train on my stamina soon. If not people wont believe I got 12 mins for my 2.4 run before. Oh wells, i still rmb i got fucking angry when the teacher in charge didnt believe me and i made a huge fuss about it xDD And i cried =x

Well it's pretty obvious why they dont believe me, cause im fat and all. Thus assuming that i cant run. Its normal lurhs, ahh whatever, gotten used to it long ago. blarh.

Oh and sorry peepos for blogging in chinese occasionally, just feel like it =x But iz lazeh to translate >_<
Im sick of finding pictures on gelbooru. Though it haz alot of nice fanart, but the amount of eechi fanart are alot more than normal fanart which is like making me ._. Yeah you understand. lol

Finished watching toradora 21. Meh, I feel like taiga >/

why the hell do you always leave me alone?
Im tired of walking away by meself, though i gotten used to it.
I wonder, when will you ever noticed that I'll always been by your side.
Perhaps, never.

Im sorry,
the God of broken heart's blessing didnt really worked on me.
My wish didnt come true.
Please take these feelings away from me, make me stronger.
Im not good in whatever i do.
I just cant stop, loving you...
suki da yo.

But then again, what's the point when he refuse to even say a goodbye to you.
Is it really that hard to say?

2009-02-25T19:45:00.000-08:00

昨晚我睡不着，一整夜听着音乐，情歌一首一首的播着，脑海里浮现的是你画面。
可是回头想想，这一却好像和一往没有什么两样。
以前的 oreo, eyecandy 等等，全部的结果都是落空。

我想，这一次也应该是一样的吧？
一直以来，我都是自欺欺人。明明知道不可能，却还是一直欺骗自己，心想这次一定会有结果。
到最后还是落空，然后自己也受了伤。很笨吧？

我想这次我还是放弃吧，人家是大学生诶，我评什么配得上人家呀。别再作白日梦了啦，这次也一定和上几次一样，没结果的啦。我们走到这里就好了，不要在走下去了。我不想再烦你了。这次不管我有多么想念，我也不会再回头了。直到我可以知只是朋友的身份对待你，我才会出现。

我想这应该是对你和我来说最好的方法吧。
就算我在你的世界消失了，你也不会查觉到，因为我在你心里根本微不足道。

谢谢你这一直以来的陪伴，我很烦吧？
我也知道，哪以后我再也不会烦你了。再见。

2009-02-23T22:38:00.001-08:00

看住时间　别让它再流浪
从前我　太适应悲伤
你的出现在无意中　却深深撼动我
一起走着　没说什么　心是满足的

这个世界　随时都要崩塌
我没有　其他的愿望
假如明天将消失了　趁现在我爱着
只想记得　被你抱着　温热的感受

Love Beautiful So Beautiful
我失去过　更珍惜拥有
多庆幸我是我　被你疼爱的我
紧紧牵住的手　不要放手　永远守护我

Love beautiful So Beautiful
我很快乐　你会了解我
我不会再哭泣　是因为我相信
我们勇敢的爱着　每秒钟
都能证明　一生的美丽

这个世界　随时都要崩塌
我没有　其他的愿望
假如明天将消失了　趁现在我爱着
只想记得　被你抱着　温热的感受

Love Beautiful So Beautiful
我失去过　更珍惜拥有
多庆幸我是我　被你疼爱的我
紧紧牵住的手　不要放手　永远守护我

Love Beautiful So Beautiful
我失去过　更珍惜拥有
多庆幸我是我　被你疼爱的我
紧紧牵住的手　不要放手　永远守护我

Love Beautiful So Beautiful
我很快乐　你会了解我
我不会再哭泣　是因为我相信
我们勇敢的爱着　每秒钟
都能证明　一生的美丽

Love's Beautiful So Beautiful~

Gah, weather's so nice to sleep in. But i just woke up =x
And im eating lunch siol! OwO
Everyone's /ignoring me on msn ;A;
*emos*
kimi ni mune kyun kyun ♥ ! >w<